


Help You Heal

by TheWoundedAngel



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Sequel Trilogy, Star Wars: The Rise of Kylo Ren (Comics)
Genre: Canto Bight, Caretaking, Developing Relationship, Dom/sub, Eventual Fluff, F/M, Face-Fucking, First Kiss, First Time, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Horny Kylo Ren, Horny Reader, Inappropriate Use of the Force, Injury Recovery, Jealous Kylo Ren, Jealousy, Kylo Ren Has Issues, Light Sadism, Loss of Innocence, Loss of Virginity, Medical, Mild Blood, Mildly Dubious Consent, Nurses, Orgasm Control, Possessive Behavior, Possessive Kylo Ren, Protective Kylo Ren, Rough Oral Sex, Shameless Smut, Slow Burn, Smut, Spanking, Supreme Leader Kylo Ren, Top Kylo Ren, Vaginal Fingering, Virginity, We all know for a fact that Adam Driver is HUNG, everyone is horny, who knows - Freeform
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-05-01
Updated: 2020-08-19
Packaged: 2021-03-01 19:41:00
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 13
Words: 32,222
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23942491
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TheWoundedAngel/pseuds/TheWoundedAngel
Summary: You are a nurse stationed in the medbay aboard the Starkiller base. You're new to the position when Kylo Ren, the Commander of the First Order, returns from a mission with critical wounds. As a test of your skill and medical training, your supervisor decides to assign his case to you. As you take over Kylo's care, things get far more personal than the routine physical examinations you're used to.
Relationships: Kylo Ren/Reader, Kylo Ren/You
Comments: 48
Kudos: 325





	1. Just a Graze

**Author's Note:**

> Not really sure where this is going to go but I'm pretty sure it will include content that you should'nt read in a place of worship. I'm an Archive virgin so feedback is wellcum. Stay tuned I'm committed to posting chapters in a timely manner. XO

You have known since you were a kid that you wanted to be a nurse, you have always felt satisfaction in making people feel good. Your whole life you had mostly kept to yourself, quietly finding solace in your academic success. Admittedly, your life hasn’t consisted of much outside of your studies, luckily for you, becoming a galactic nurse involved A LOT of studying (you had to know basic physiology and care for around 2,500 different species). Though rigorous, your natural intelligence and motivation allowed you to succeed in your training with flying colors.

You remember when you received your letter of acceptance to work with the First Order, it was only few weeks back, it had felt entirely surreal. Working on the Starkiller, the hub of the First Order, was about the most prestigious job offer conceivable as a newly accredited nurse. You had studied hard, on your way to becoming one of the best in your field, and your credentials had been noticed. Sure, you were scared out of your wits, you've experienced so little outside of the rigor of your education, and you certainly don't consider yourself very adventurous, still, the offer had been too good to pass up.

So here you are, carefully examining a blaster wound to the calf of some poor StormTrooper.

"You're lucky. It looks like it's just a graze. The wound is superficial so you won’t need any carbon reconstruction" You say reassuringly.

The trooper nods in relief.

"How did the injury occur?" You ask, retrieving the pen that was tucked behind your ear turning your attention to your patient chart.

"Well..." the trooper's cheeks turn rosy "I was holding my blaster, and... I kind of accidentally fired it."

 _Stars_ , you think to yourself, _StormTroopers really are bad with their blasters_. You've already treated 3 other troopers for “accidental self-inflicted blaster wounds”, and you've only been on the Starkiller for 2 weeks.

"It's ok, accidents happen" You say giving him a reassuring smile. "I'll be sure to get you bandaged up, and I'll bring you a pain reducer"

Relief floods your patient’s eyes at your understanding response, and you feel satisfied having successfully comforted your patient.

The remainder of the day, you tend to a few more minor injuries and administer some fluid treatments before returning to the nurses’ station to catch up on your patient files. MedDroids immediately log all patient information to their hard drive, but the First Order prefers to use living medical staff. For this you're grateful, it means you have a job... but, it also means that you spend a lot of time filling out paperwork. You become lost in concentration, recording the doses of Nullicaine you had administered to patient 3471, when you felt a hand on your shoulder. You jump in surprise, making a 180 degree turn in your chair.

"Sorry! Didn't mean to startle ya." your supervisor says, through a wide smile.

You had known that the StarKiller employed very few women when you took the job, still, you had initially been surprised to find out your supervisor was a man, and a handsome one at that. Being around men was not something you had any experience in, and you often found yourself flustered around him (which you hoped didn’t reflect poorly on your professional performance).

"So sorry Mr. Raderon," You fumble for the clipboard that had flown out of your hands.

"I was just catching up on paperwork, but if you need me to do rounds-"

"Hey," he stops you, bringing his palms to face you reassuringly

"First of all, please just call me Axle, and second, I was just coming to let you know that your shift is over."

"Oh... ok, thank you" you say quietly.

Gazing up at his light eyes, you find yourself wondering what his beard stubble would feel like to the touch. You quickly catch your mind drifting and swallow hard, bringing yourself back to reality.

"I'll uh, just finish up the rest of this paperwork and then head out" At this he drops his chin and raises his eyebrows at you.

"Y/N, get out of here," he says playfully.

"I'm sure I'll need you well rested tomorrow to take care of whatever poor stormtrooper comes hobbling in here"

You scoff, eyes meeting his for a moment before returning your gaze to your lap.

"Ok... thanks" you say, trying to calm the smile that threatens to upend your professional demeanor.

Every time Axle Raderon talks to you, your abdomen erupts with butterflies. You could probably count the total number of guys you have had conversations with on one hand. To your humiliation, you had a feeling your supervisor easily picked up on your lack of romantic exposure, and you couldn’t help but suspect that he toyed with your naivete. Not that you really minded, you had reveled in the novel experience of being given attention. You would never consider crossing professional boundaries, he was your supervisor after all, but you could not deny that he was nice to look at.

You pull at the hem of your skirt as you stand, keeping your eyes on your hands while gathering your communication tablet and other personal belongings. Carefully, you scoot around your supervisor’s stationary figure, still standing behind your chair. As you start towards the MedBay’s exit you’re stopped by his voice.

"Good work today (Y/N), you're proving to be a great addition to the medical staff here"

"Thank You Mr. Raderon," you stop yourself "I mean… Axle" You beam at the recognition.

He nods once, smiling. "Now get some rest, you deserve it"

By the time you reach the blast door to your sleeping quarters your cheeks sting. You've been smiling since you left the MedBay, and you can’t discern if it's from compliment you've received, or the fact that the compliment had come from such a handsome man. Once you’re in the privacy of your room, you peel off your uniform and strip down to your underwear. Collapsing onto your cot, you exhale a lung full of satisfaction.

For the first time, you feel proud of your work. You replay the affirmation that Axle gave you in your head and you feel honored to be a member of the StarKiller’s seamlessly performing staff. Your eyelids start to get heavy as you begin to succumb to your delicious fatigue.

 _I really should get some rest… and I do deserve it_ , you affirm yourself. At the allowance of your mind, your body drifts into much needed sleep.

***

No sooner than you had drifted off to sleep you’re awoken by the harsh sound of three, short repetitive blasts. Startled into consciousness, you frantically search for the source of the sound as your brain starts to regain awareness. Suddenly you remember this alarm from your training, it’s the alarm for a medical emergency. Immediately you reach for the source of the sound, your communication tablet. As your mind begins to shake the cloud of sleep you grow frustrated, you’ve almost surely been stripped of your peaceful rest because another stormtrooper shot himself (or his partner) because they can’t seem to figure out how to operate a blaster. You bring your communication tablet to your face sighing out your irritation.

At first your eyes are blinded by the backlight of the tablet screen. The words on the screen slowly come into focus, as your eyes finally decipher the notification, your body goes cold.

***SUPREME LEADER KYLO REN IN CRITICAL CONDITION RETURNING TO STARKILLER. ARRIVAL TIME 0100. ALL MEDICAL STAFF REPORT TO MEDBAY IMMEDIATELY PREPARE FOR CRITICAL CARE ***

Your eyes dart to your clock, your frantic brain trying to piece together the situation. 0100, your brain regains its computational skills, you have 39 minutes to get to the MedBay.


	2. Where the Hell is My Helmet

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When you took the job as a nurse on the StarKiller you never conceived that you may have been tasked with treating Kylo Ren.

You throw back the covers of your cot and leap onto your feet, frantically searching for pieces of your uniform as you stumble through the dark of your quarters. Each second that goes by brings you closer to the arrival of the critically wounded Supreme Leader, Kylo Ren. Your heartbeat surges as you throw on your uniform top. Your hands automatically begin fastening the buttons lining the front of your blouse as your mind begins to catastrophize your situation.

When you took the job as a nurse on the StarKiller you never conceived that you may have been tasked with treating Kylo Ren. He’s the _Supreme Leader_ of the First Order for stars end! You’ve never even seen him in person, and you had been content assuming that you probably never would. After all, the StarKiller is huge, and you had yet to venture more than a few corridors outside of the Medical Wing.

To you, Kylo Ren was mythological, only occupying your mind as the legendary, omnipotent, leader of the imperious First Order. In fact, you had always kind of assumed he was immortal, or at least somehow indestructible. Never considering that underneath his helmet and robes there was a body. A body that just like yours, was vulnerable to injury.

Now fully outfitted, you grab your personal equipment and communications tablet and head for the blast doors to your quarters.

 _Stay calm, stay professional, you know what you’re doing._ You instruct yourself as you turn out of your room and break into a jog towards the MedBay.

You glance at the clock on your data pad, ETA is now only 25 minutes away.

Your pace quickens.

When you arrive at the MedBay you find only Axle your supervisor and one other nurse.

“Thank Gods you’re here!” Axle exclaims when he sees you. His face is momentarily seized with relief before returning to furrowed urgency.

“Where is everyone?” you look around frantically.

“There’s a canteen in one of the old flood tunnels, the evening staff like to go for drinks after their shift. My guess is they’re all passed out, either that or they chickened out” He speaks in a matter of fact way, like it’s routine to be short staffed when the kriffing Supreme Leader will be arriving any minute in need of critical care.

The other nurse is standing in front of the pharmaceutical’s locker, her body rigid, face void of color.

Axle glances up at you, his hands busy sorting through Med-Kits.

“Hey! Look alive, I need your help here!” he directs his attention to you; the other nurse is a lost cause, there's no time to try and comfort her into reanimation. 

“Grab any emergency first response equipment you can think of, we have a little less than a femtosecond to get our asses to the loading dock”

“On it.” Your response is automatic as you regain your composure.

You move quickly, your mind sorting through every conceivable life-threatening condition and how to treat them, you need to be prepared for anything.

You move purposefully through the MedBay like you have it memorized down to the centimeter. Your brain leads your hands through a mental checklist:

  * 10mL of nullicaine
  * Narco-Mist
  * 10cc cartridge pressurized Bio-Bacta
  * Provotin Cystate
  * Cyanogen Silicate
  * 15mL Elisinandrox
  * IV Triptophania
  * Synth-Skin patches…



By this point you’ve untucked your uniform blouse, you clutch the bottom hem to your chest with one hand, folding the fabric towards your body, your free hand shoveling medication and various bandaging into your makeshift pouch.

You turn to face Axel as he is swiftly approaching you, “ETA is in 5 minutes, we gotta go.”

You take half a moment to exhale

“Ready to go” you affirm.

He looks you over, registering your shirt inventory. He moves closer to you, bending his knees to align the opening of a small first aid duffel with your pelvis, to which you carefully transfer your shirt contents.

The other nurse that had been on the floor has now _inconveniently_ disappeared to the restroom, you follow Axle out of the MedBay, as this point, any hope you had that she may find her courage has vaporized. 

As you race towards the elevator alongside Axle, you force yourself to ignore the anxiety wracking your body. You're confident in your medical skills; your training had prepared you to be ready for any condition you’re presented with. What your training did not prepare you for, was coming face to face with the most powerful man in the galaxy.

You shake out your trembling hands as the elevator reaches the level of the loading dock. Axle gives you a reassuring nod as the elevator doors open before you both take off like fathiers at the starting gate.

The bay doors are already open, and you can see the command shuttle making its final approach as you sprint alongside Axle towards the landing pad.

As the shuttle begins landing you find yourself wishing you’d had time to put your hair up before hastily leaving your quarters, your head is now amassed in a wind-whipped disaster from the turbulence of the landing command shuttle. The ship stills, engines powering down. As the shuttle ramp opens you immediately abandon your cosmetic concerns.

4 of the Knights of Ren come storming down the shuttle ramp, immediately flanked by three more figures. Moving into view you see the two remaining Knights supporting either side of a towering figure. You weren’t sure it was him until you saw the damaged helmet in his hand, resting on the shoulder of one of his cloaked apprentices. His head hung, chin meeting his chest, a wreath of full, dark, wavy hair concealing his downcast face.

You follow after Axle, charging towards the exit ramp. As you close the distance between yourself and the Supreme Leader, your knees threaten to buckle. Even in his weakened state his presence is powerfully imposing.

As Kylo reaches the bottom of the ramp he collapses to the ground, breaking through the support of his Knights. You drop to your knees as you reach him, sliding up next to his collapsed body. Immediately, you rest your cheek to his chest, trying to detect the rise and fall of breath. You angle your face to gaze up at his jaw, desperately searching for a gentle breeze of exhalation. As your face shifts against his body you feel something wet and slick coat your cheek. Sitting up, you go to wipe what you think is sweat from your face. Your stomach flips as your hand comes back into view coated in deep red blood.

You scan his torso to find a deep wound a few inches below his collarbone where your cheek had rested.

Your own heart pounds in your chest as your crimson stained fingers travel up his thick neck, resting under his jaw to find a weak pulse.

You glance up to see Axle appear out of the command shuttle towing a gurney towards you, which (thankfully) was a regulatory requirement for every shuttle.

“What’s his condition?”

Axle’s voice is urgent as Kylo’s Knights swoop into service seeing that Kylo’s body needs to be moved to the stretcher.

“Possible deep puncture wound, Bradycardia, and respiratory failure” you relay the information with surprising composure.

“Load some Bacta-Spray, we need to get him back to the MedBay” Axle orders as he locks the legs of the gurney into place.

Your hands ransack the first aid duffel grabbing a Bacta cartridge, loading into a Stimpack.

Axle appears beside you handing you a pair of bandage shears. He nods towards Kylo’s body encased in thick black fabric

“We need to assess the injury. Now.” He says urgently.

With shaking hands, you start to cut the thick black fabric of Kylo's tunic, working your way up from the bottom hem. Inch by inch the cloth separates revealing the skin of his strong abdomen.

You’ve seen the bare bodies of thousands of different species’, it’s part of the job. But something about literally ripping the shirt off of the Supreme Leader makes you blush, your cheeks beginning to match the color of Kylo’s blood stained abdomen. 

You pull apart the split fabric of his tunic, his strong body demanding your momentary acknowledgment as your breath catches in your throat. Swallowing, you grab the Stimpak, administering a generous coat of Bacta to the burned and bloodied crater in his chest.

Falling back, you watch as the Knights collectively use the force to move Kylo’s body through the air, gently laying him on the gurney. In any other situation you would have been starstruck with amazement.

“Ok (Y/N), listen” Axle addresses you with simultaneous severity and reassurance.

“You’re the smallest among the present company with CPR training, I need you to ride the rails, got it?”

“Ok” your response is automatic.

You climb onto the gurney, trying to hide your growing panic. Your career goals had never involved straddling a galactic ruler to administer mouth to mouth, much less on wheels.

Kylo Ren is huge, your inner thighs strain as your knees barely make it past the width of his hips. You immediately begin chest compressions as the gurney is wheeled into the elevator. Your now tangled hair falls around your face, blocking your peripheral view so that the only thing in your line of sight is the face of the mighty Kylo Ren. Through the rhythmic jolts of your chest compressions, you finally get a moment to study his face.

 _Stars he is handsome,_ you think to yourself, you had not expected him to be so staggeringly attractive. His features are strong and domineering, his sharp jawline perfectly framing his full lips. You struggle to keep your focus on the first aid you're administering.

You’re now on your 23rd chest compression, you know if he doesn’t respond after 30, you’re going to have to administer mount to mouth. The thought enters your mind, fusing with your adrenaline to generate an unsolicited, and very foreign, electricity now buzzing in your underwear, which, is currently pressed against his waistline.

Chest compression number 28, no response.

Your mind is racing, you haven’t even had your first kiss, and you only ever practiced this on CPR dummies.

Chest compression number 29, no response.

Sweat condenses at on your forehead as your gaze finds the lips of the beautiful man underneath you.

You complete your 30th chest compression, pausing with anxiety for half a moment before you tilt his chin, fingers finding his nose.

You inhale deeply, lowering your face to his.

Your open mouth meets his, your collective four lips fusing into place to create a tight seal. The feeling is entirely new, the sensation is softer than anything you have ever felt. You’re overcome with a feeling that you can’t identify, and it forces all the breath out of your lungs, luckily, that’s exactly what your supposed to do. You feel his chest rise, barely grazing your breasts, as they fill with your own exasperation.

You’re about to pull away to collect another breath, when you feel his mouth move slightly against yours. As he regains consciousness his lips come together, accidentally closing around your own.

Immediately you pull away, sitting up to gaze into his opening eyes. You consider his point of view; wishing that you, straddling his body, hair a hot mess, face covered in his own blood, wasn’t about to be the first thing he sees after regaining consciousness.

You glance at your surrounding momentarily, relieved to find that you’re finally approaching the MedBay.

You look back down at Kylo Ren to find his light hazel eyes open, locking with yours as he searches your face. He watches you with intensity and confusion, his eyebrows raising slightly as he blinks up at you. For just a moment, you notice something else, a fossil buried deep in his gaze that you can’t decipher. He scans your body as you enter the MedBay, you watch as he regains awareness and his jaw clenches, his confusion is now being re-directed to anger. The corners of his mouth pull down in agitation. Coming to a stop, you look up as Axle begins rapidly prepping IV fluids. Kylo Ren has responded to your resuscitation attempt and now its time to do your job.

You go to carefully dismount the Supreme Leader when his hand catches your wrist sharply. You jump, fear freezing your body turning to face him.

His eyes are now blazing with fear induced rage. He pulls your upper body towards his by your wrist, your face now inches from his. A muscle twitches beneath his eye as he addresses you with a deep chilling tone.

“Where. _The hell_. Is my helmet” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi, If your reading this THANK YOU  
> This is my first time publishing work, so reader advice is more that welcome.  
> I want this story to have a well developed plot, hopefully I'll be able to build up some sexual anticipation for you, and I promise there will be all kinds of smut to come.  
> Also, I can't explain how hard it was to elegantly describe in writing the thing where you use the shirt like a pouch to carry things against your stomach?? You know????? Anyway, stay tuned I'll be posting new chapters very soon.


	3. I'd Like To Return To My Quarters

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For a moment Kylo Ren stills, his eyes still locked on yours, the fury in his eyes starts to calm, turning into something else.

You weren’t sure you had ever seen someone so injured with so much rage fueled energy. You’re now frozen in the corner of the critical care room of the MedBay watching on as Kylo Ren rips through everything in his path. You’d be lying if you said you weren’t impressed by his strength, especially since only minutes ago he was all but clinically dead.

You jump to the side as an IV stand is catapulted across the room smashing into the supply locker that you were cowering behind. For a brief moment your eyes meet the Supreme Leader’s, you watch as rage burns behind his irises, he is hurt, badly. Blood from his wound glowing red against the white tile of the clinic floor.

For a moment Kylo Ren stills, his eyes still locked on yours, the fury in his eyes starts to calm, turning into something else, confusion maybe.

Suddenly you remember why you wanted to be a nurse in first place, to help people, and Kylo Ren needed help. A twinge of pity overcomes you and driven purely by the desire to fulfill your duty as a nurse, you step towards him.

You swallow hard trying to fight your instinct to turn and run from the predator in front of you, and yet you wanted to help him. Slowly, you cross the room towards the statue of his figure, trembling hands outstretched palms facing him, trying to still your nerves.

“You, um, you’re going to b-be ok.” Your words are shaky and barely audible, catching in your throat.

Kylo Ren is still motionless staring at you, he glances at your hands, which are still stained in his blood, then returns his gaze to yours. You swear you can see steam coming off of him as his demeanor slowly cools. The fire in his eyes no longer hiding the pain that begins to surface. He’s suffering.

“Please, s-sir I c-can help” You step closer, out of the corner of your eye you see Axle silently moving behind Kylo.

You take another step towards the Supreme Leader, trying to stay outwardly calm while your heart hammers in your ribcage. You’re almost close enough to touch him, this close, your chin tilts, neck straining, looking up to keep his gaze as he towers over you. He is silent still staring at you, but now his expression changes, he looks intrigued, almost like he is relieved to be looking into your eyes. You can feel his breath on your face as the rise and fall of his chest starts to slow.

You open your mouth to speak but before the words find your lips his eyes roll back and his head lulls. His massive figure sways in front of you.

“A little help here!” comes Axle’s voice, all you can see are his arms as he reaches out from behind Kylo’s massive figure, steadying him. Your wobbling legs brace as you reach for Kylo’s abdomen, together you and Axle desperately try to support his weight as he collapses. Somehow the two of you are able to position his body onto the nearest med cot, which is no easy task. 

Your hands meet his arms and you marvel at how muscular they are, you can barely get a grip around his massive biceps.

“Gave him a good dose of sedative H4b, he should be out long enough for us to start treating him” Axle says as he discards the empty syringe in the sharps container.

“Was that really necessary?” For some reason you felt like you had betrayed your patient, no, you felt like you betrayed Kylo Ren.

“Yes, I do. We need to treat his wounds and he wasn’t exactly being compliant” Axle speaks in a reprehensive tone.

You glance around the room which has sustained significant damage at the hands of the Supreme Leader. Medicine cabinets are shattered, cots overturned, the clinic looks like a Rathtar had been set loose in it. Axle had a point, there was no use in entertaining the idea that you and the Supreme Leader had made some kind of connection, he is your patient, and the priority now is to treat him.

“I’m sorry I shouldn’t have questioned your judgement, it’s just been a crazy night” you have never been one to disagree with your authority, you sigh, examining the drying blood on your hands.

“Hey, I completely understand, it has been one hell of a night.” Axle moves towards you, examining your face, you look up at him. He grabs your shoulder locking his eyes with yours.

“And, I am really thankful, you did great, I really couldn’t have done this without your help” He speaks sincerely, reassuringly, your blush sets your cheeks on fire.

“Now let’s take care of that wound” Axle squeezes your shoulder before turning to the Supreme Leaders unconscious body.

Axle helps you remove what’s left of Kylo’s tunic exposing his entire upper body, a pulse starts between your legs at the sight. You’ve never seen anything like it, he is so big and so strong, you fight the urge to run your hand over his muscles. This is all very new to you, seeing the unclothed, powerful chest of a man, and not just any man, the most powerful man in the galaxy. Your touch starved body reacts against your professional judgement and you find your breath hiccup. You can only hope Axle doesn’t notice your flustered demeanor.

You have to admit, he is far less scary now that he is sedated.

_Treatment, he needs treatment_ , your professionalism regains its dominance over your thoughts.

Most of his chest is scattered with superficial cuts and scrapes, but the wound in his chest is deep, he’s going to need extensive treatment to heal completely.

You examine the wound, the tissue damage is severe, and part of his flesh look burned.

“What could have caused a wound like this?” you ask Axle.

“looks like something laser powered and judging the shape of the wound I’d say its from a lightsaber” Axle speaks plainly.

“A lightsaber?” you ask in disbelief.

Your medical schooling had included far beyond the scope of “general diagnoses” but you had never been taught about light saber wounds. After all the Jedi order is thought to be extinct. You knew Master Ren had a lightsaber but you figured he was the only one in the galaxy at this point.

“Hey, consider us lucky. I’d say most galactic medical personnel will go their whole careers without seeing a lightsaber wound, probably because most people don’t make it to treatment, light saber wounds are almost always fatal.”

Axle seems amused.

“Well Kylo Ren is certainly not most people” you say just above a whisper as your eyes scan the Supreme Leader’s body. You find yourself involuntarily biting your lip, but quickly regain your composure.

You clear your throat “I think we should administer nullicaine, I’m sure his body is in shock, then we can clean and disinfect the wound… and we should probably start looking at reconstruction options.” Now you’re thinking out loud. You look up meeting Axle’s eyes he looks at you amused, impressed.

“Couldn’t have said it better myself Boss” he winks at you and you feel your insides liquify a little. You feel lucky to have Axle as your supervisor, he has faith in you, and it doesn’t hurt that he’s great to look at. 

It takes you almost an hour to irrigate the wound, doing your best to clear all the debris and scorched tissue. The wound is bad, you can see parts of the Supreme Leader that you shouldn’t be able to without an X-Ray. You keep your focus despite the fact that your adrenaline comedown and lack of sleep is starting to catch up with you.

“Were out of Bacta” Axle says,

“I’m gonna have to call it in from one of the dreadnaughts, shouldn’t take any longer than an hour”

You finish the temporary bandaging on Kylo’s wound and meet Axles gaze “Vitals are stable, I’ll stay here and look after the patient”

“Thank you, I’ll be back soon.” Axle nods at you before leaving the MedBay.

You sit on the cot next to the Supreme Leader’s, listening to the steady beep of his heartrate monitor. Exhaustion floods over you and you recline on the cot, angling your body so that you’re still facing Kylo Ren, your eyes grow heavy as the rhythmic beeps of his vitals monitor starts to lull you to sleep.

Your awoken just moments later to the quickening pace of the heartrate monitor, his heartbeat is accelerating, and his BP is rising. You jump to your feet and move to his body; his increasing heart rate has caused his bandages to become soaked with fresh blood.

You turn quickly to get fresh bandages, removing the old ones and carefully applying pressure to his wound to stop the bleeding. Axle hasn’t returned yet, you glance at the clock, its only been 25 minutes or so since he left. You start to apply fresh gauze and bandaging, hands moving carefully over his wounded flesh. You turn to adjust the pressure gauge on his IV drip, and you squeal jumping back.

Kylo’s eyes are open and he’s looking right at you.

“I’m, so-sorry sir, I d-dint realize you were awake?” He just stares back at you, he looks almost entertained, as his eyes float over your body.

“You” he says his voice is deep and unnerving even without the voice modulator of his helmet.

Y-yes sir, I-I’m your nurse you’ve been hurt, b-but don’t worry I’m here to, um to h-help you heal.”

You’re embarrassed at the sound of your words, so timid and shy.

“Oh, you are, what’s your name?” Kylo’s deep voice intercepts your thoughts.

Your mind is reeling, you assume he’s probably asking in a professional sense but something about the question seems intimate and your knees shake, squeezing together.

“Nurse Y/N s-sir” you say unable to manage your nerves.

“Well Y/N,” he says grimacing through his pain, though never leaving your eyes.

Kylo looks at you with an expression you cannot discern “I would prefer to return to my quarters” 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry for how long this chapter took, I just finished finals so this past week has been crazy (organic chemistry is no joke). Anyway, things will get SEXY soon hopefully, again feel free to leave comments let me know what y'all think.


	4. And They Were Roommates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You’ve never been in a man’s bedroom before have you?”

You’re baffled, almost irritated, the past few hours had been hell to keep this man alive. And here he is talking to you as if you’re his babysitter, as if the medical care that you were providing him was frivolous. You are not going to let him undermine you.

“I’m sorry Supreme Leader, but you’ve sustained a serious injury, I administered Nullicaine but once that wears off, you’re going to be in a lot of pain, you’re still in need of round the clock care and –

“Round the clock care...” Kylo cuts you off, “You sedated me.” His voice is imposing.

“Your behavior made you a hazard to yourself and your medical staff, your injuries needed immediate attention” You reply trying to maintain your professional composure.

“I’ve sustained injuries before, I can handle myself” Kylo says.

He is testing you, and you are starting to wish you hadn’t administered the Nullicaine, maybe if he could feel the hole in his chest, he wouldn’t be so cocky. 

“I was doing my job _sir_ ” you practically spit the words.

“ _YOU_ WERE SLEEPING” Kylo claps back his voice booming.

The sheer volume of his voice causes you to immediately lose all your offensive power. Shame and fear engulf you, what were you thinking talking to back to the Supreme Leader. Your chin quivers and your eyes water, you stare at your shoes. How could you be so stupid.

“For-” you start to speak but just opening your mouth threatens to release the sobs that you are trying to keep trapped in your throat. You bite your bottom lip, swallowing hard, doing your best to push your cry back into your body.

“Forgive me, Sir” you manage to quietly choke out.

Tentatively your eyes travel up and away from your shoelaces.

He has pushed himself upright, his hands pressing into the cot behind his hips, supporting the weight of his upper body. The bandages you just applied on his wound are now soaked, and blood is beginning to drip down his bare torso. Instinctively you turn to the dressing tray beside you, getting fresh bandaging, you move to his body silently. Your hands are light and gentle as you peel the soiled gauze off, replacing it with clean ones. You’re close enough to feel his softening exhales, and you are sure he can feel yours as you hover closely over his chest fixing the new dressing in pace with medical tape.

Still silent Kylo shifts slightly, bringing his face slightly closer to yours, your hands freeze momentarily in fear, before quickly adhering the last corner of the bandage. Your heart thumps in your throat.

You glance up at him for a moment, he scans your face intently, mouth only inches from yours, his eyes look almost apologetic. He’s considering you almost delicately. Why is he looking at you like that?

Bewildered, your eyes dart away trying to find anything else to look at.

You clear your throat in an effort to dislodge your nerves.

“Ah Sir, good to see you’re awake and alive!” Axle’s voice startles you at first, followed by a wave of relief.

“Sorry for the wait Sir, I trust Nurse Y/N here took good care of you?” Axle says giving a curt bow to the Supreme Leader before turning to restock the medicine locker with Bacta.

Your limbs go cold, you wished Axle hadn’t said that. You squeezed your eyes shut, waiting for Kylo to erupt, enlightening your supervisor of your inappropriate attitude and blatant lack of respect for your Supreme Leader. You can kiss your job goodbye –

“She did” Kylo says.

His voice makes you wince, you wait a moment, but he doesn’t continue. You look at him, confused, his eyes move right over you without acknowledgment. He directs his attention to Axle,

“I will be returning to my Quarters, in the morning”

Axle stops what he’s doing, sighing before looking up, his face is more serious that you’ve ever seen it.

“Sir, I would strongly recommend you reconsider, your wound is in need of intensive care, it will not heal without the proper medical attention” The tone in Axle’s voice is grave, you’ve never heard it before.

“Then my care will continue in my quarters” Kylo seems unconcerned.

“Supreme Leader, please reconsider, the amount of care that you require would necessitate a nurse be with you 24/7, this is not a treatment regimen that you can self-administer.” Axle says with confidence, unphased yet unprovoked by Kylo’s stubbornness. Axle epitomizes persuasion, its one of the reasons you find him so attractive.

Kylo sighs, he seems to be considering Axle’s words. The Nullicaine is surely starting to wear off by now and you can see in his eyes that the pain is sobering. Just as you think Kylo is about to surrender, he looks directly at you with as much stoicism as ever.

“So be it, I trust you can arrange for the nurse to treat me in my quarters.” At first Kylo seems to be speaking directly to you, before turning to Axle expectantly.

Axle exhales, pinching the bridge of his nose as he accepts defeat. You can tell that there is an unsaid rule among the StarKiller’s staff that it is forbidden to raise question to the Supreme Leaders demands. You wish you had learned that earlier.

“As you wish.” Axle says between his teeth before looking at you.

Your eyes are wider than a Porg’s and Axles meets them apologetically. He nods at you and you practically run to his side. You don’t need to say anything, Axle can fluently interpret the panic in your expression. Staying mindful that the supreme leader is still in earshot he looks at you reassuringly, there’s not much that Axle can do, an order from the Supreme Leader is covenantal.

“You’re the best nurse I have for the job, consider it an honor to personally assist the Supreme Leader” He takes a hold of your hand squeezing it, he pulls you closer to his body, “plus, he actually doesn’t seem to mind you, and that doesn’t happen often.” Axle whispers.

He drops your hand and you step back. You Inhale, your fate has been sealed, you give Axle a little nod.

“Now go get some rest and be back here first thing in the morning, well get you set up with a mobile station” Axle says.

You gather your data pad and walk out of the MedBay, bowing your head in submission to the Supreme Leader as you pass him.

By the time you get to your quarters, exhaustion has consumed you. You glance at yourself in the mirror of your washroom, Kylo’s blood is dry and flaky on your cheek, your hair is a mess and your uniform shirt is filthy with blood and grime. You strip, turning on the showerhead.

You sit down on the floor of the shower and let the warm water surround your body, your exhaustion has vacated your thoughts and you feel peaceful, it’s a respite from the past 24 hours.

You set an alarm for the morning and fall asleep the moment your heat hits your pillow.

***

The sound of your alarm slaps you back into reality, the first thing you think about is Kylo Ren, and how you’re about the become his new roommate, for a moment you consider quitting your job, or blasting yourself into the void of space. _You are the Supreme Leaders nurse, it’s an honor_ , you try to persuade yourself.

You fix your hair and dress yourself in your cleanest crispest uniform, you are determined to look more outwardly professional than you did yesterday.

By the time you turn the corner to the hall of the MedBay your whole body is trembling with apprehension, never did you think that being a general nurse would be a high anxiety job, but the last two days had certainly changed that.

You begin to make a checklist of all the medical supplies you would be needing on your communication tablet, your eyes are focused on the screen when you slam into something massive and hard in your path, comm tablet flying out of your hands and clattering on the hard floor.

Stunned you look up to find the massive body of Kylo Ren toting his IV stand alongside him.

“I believe your going the wrong way nurse, my quarters are this way” Kylo says irritated.

You don’t even understand how he’s upright and walking.

“I uh- I have to get a few things” you say smoothing your uniform skirt.

“That won’t be necessary, I’ve already informed your Supervisor to have all the necessary supplies as well as your personal necessities delivered to my quarters.” He says as he moves around you and heads for the elevator. 

You are frozen in place.

“My quarters nurse.” His massive voice echoes from behind you. You fumble to retrieve your data pad before jogging to catch up with him.

You follow him into the service elevator and the quiet and stillness immediately blankets you in awkwardness. He is still wearing only his pants from the day before; he had refused a hospital gown.

Your eyes wander briefly over his bare chest, suddenly it seems warm inside the elevator, _Gods I wish he had a shirt on_ you think to yourself. You swear you see the corner of his mouth twitch in amusement, you had forgotten he could read thoughts.

The elevator stills and the doors open “I believe it was you who cut it off me” he says as he exits the elevator, his voice sounds amused.

You are frozen in embarrassment, the elevator doors begin to close, and you leap through them, brought back from your mortified state.

You catch up to Kylo as he stops in front of a large blast door, he enters a code on the keypad and they open with a hiss to reveal a spacious, yet very cold and hard, living room. There’s already a cot prepared for you along with basically an entire med station.

Its cold, and everything is black and chrome, in fact the softest thing in the room is probably your cot. You move around the room tentatively, Kylo passes you and enters a door along the wall where your cot is positioned. This must be his bedroom. You turn to the medical supplies, you’re impressed, everything is already here. When Kylo Ren gives an order, no one wastes any time.

“Sir, if it’s ok, I’d like to change your bandages and administer a dose of Bacta” you say from the doorway of his room.

“Fine” you hear him reply.

You timidly enter the room, the bed is massive, which makes sense, since Kylo Ren is a massive man, and to your surprise the bedding is dark blue.

“Huh” you say

“What amuses you” Kylo says his back is turned to you, he’s retrieving a pair of lounge clothes from his closet.

“Oh uh, nothing, I, just… your bed is blue, everything else is black” you try to sound lighthearted.

“I like blue” His voice is emotionless and matter of fact.

You smile a little, only the Supreme Leader could sound intimidating when he’s telling you his favorite color.

He turns to you and sits on the bed. Your smile vanishes and you approach him carefully, your hands meet his chest, gently dressing and treating his wound. Your fingers are shaking, trying not to think about the fact that your touching the bare skin of the Supreme Leader next to his bed. You silently curse your naivety.

When you’re finished you step back and he grabs the plain black shirt that he retrieved from his closet, he begins to try to pull it over his head but he can lift one of his arms from the injury. He starts to get frustrated, instinctively you move in to help, carefully pulling his arm through the shirt hole, and sliding the shirt down his body, when you get to the bottom of his torso your palms graze his waistline accidentally. Your hands have found a location that is dangerously close to inappropriate and you draw them back.

“Sorry” you say blushing

“You’ve never been in a man’s bedroom before have you?” He says entertained, his voice has a deep smooth edge to it that takes you back.

Flustered, you try to calculate the question he has just asked you, but your cheeks are overheating your brain.

“Um… I-I don’t see wh- what that has to do with y-your um tr-treatment, s-sir” your breath shakes and your knees clamp together, the tone in his voice, and dim light of his bedroom is igniting something in your biology that you’ve never experienced.

His voice comes deep and thick “It doesn’t”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Haha the chapter title, I had to for all my Vine veterans out there.  
> Hope y'all like a slow burn cause this ones a mother fucking crock pot. 
> 
> If you're reading this thank you so much!


	5. A Helping Hand

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your mind cannot stop replaying the words that Kylo had said to you, and the way he had said them. His voice plays on loop in your mind, so deep and wanting.

The rest of the day Kylo rests, periodically you check on him, administering various IV medications and checking his vitals.

Kylo had a full kitchen in his quarters which reminded you of how much you missed cooking with your mother back on your home planet. The kitchen looked like it had never been used which was probably the case seeing as how the pantry was stocked with nutritive beverages, polystarch and veg-meat, the typical high protein high nutrient diet of the first order.

You stayed busy your first day quarantined to the Supreme Leaders quarters, preparing sustenance and medications. You tried not to think about the comment he had made earlier in the morning _you’ve never been in a man’s bedroom before have you._ His voice had been smooth, laced with desire, it confused you and excited you, you did your best not to let it distract you.

You hastily prepare some kind of high protein slush for the Supreme Leaders dinner, placing it on a tray before bringing it to his bedroom. As you enter his room you find him awake sitting up, part of you is relieved you didn’t have to wake him from his slumber, another part of you wanted to drop the tray and run.

“Your uh _dinner_ , sir.” You say as you look down at the tray, you can hardly call this food.

“Leave it” His tone is harsh.

Between hostility and sexual implication, you weren’t sure which version of Kylo’s attitude made you more uncomfortable. You place the tray at his bedside and begin to leave the room, but his hostility bothers you, you feel you’ve failed in some way to please him, which inflames your insecurity. 

“You know… I’m sure I could get some ingredients from the cafeteria to cook you something more… uh tasty.” You say, it's your best attempt at a kind gesture.

“If I required a personal chef, I would have appointed one” Kylo says dismissively.

“Yes Sir, my apologies” You say obediently carefully shutting the door to his bedroom behind you.

You can't help but feel dissatisfied, sure you’re doing everything correctly when it comes to his treatment, but never have you had so much trouble deciphering how to please someone. After all, you have to confess, you are a people pleaser.

You check the clock on your comm tablet to see that the evening is fast approaching. You hadn’t really noticed, after all Ilum, the StarKiller’s planet only had two dim moons which didn’t exactly provide a strong day to night light cycle.

You decide to look at what “personal belongings” you had been appointed, since you hadn’t been given time to pack your own sleepwear. You open the duffel next to your cot to find a hygiene kit, underwear, and neatly folded uniforms and black tank tops. They were the training tank tops given to the storm troopers, you held one up to your body, it’s loose, and barely long enough to be a nightgown, grazing your upper thighs. Which you figured was the intended purpose as you could not find any pajama bottoms. You hadn’t expected much, aside from the nurse’s uniforms, the first order didn’t produce any women’s apparel, which makes sense as there are hardly any women employed on the Star Killer.

You grab you are a toothbrush and toothpaste from the hygiene kit before realizing that the only washroom is the one in Kylo Ren’s bedroom. Unwilling to face your cranky leader you decided to brush your teeth in the kitchen sink. During which, you mentally practice ways of asking if you can take a shower or use the restroom, for when the time came.

You walk back to your cot, carefully listening for any kind of motion from behind Kylo’s bedroom door before deciding the coast is clear and stripping down to your underwear. You throw on one of the tank tops to find that it serves its purpose as a nightgown even more poorly than you had imagined. It is very short, and the bottoms of your ass cheeks threaten to reveal themselves with even the smallest movements. You wish your personal necessities had included a sweater or something, Kylo Ren’s quarters are freezing. You choose the next best thing which is to crawl onto your cot under the wool blanket you’ve been provided.

Your sleeping arrangements are anything but comfortable, your temporary cot is just a sheet of mesh stretched too tightly between a metal frame, but more concerning, is the fact that you’re expected to sleep in the quarters of the highly temperamental supreme leader. Only a wall separates you and him, which both terrifies and excited you.

You decide against trying to sleep at the moment, you only have about 45 minutes before you’ll need to administer the Supreme Leader’s last Bacta treatment till the morning.

Your mind cannot stop replaying the words that Kylo had said to you, and the way he had said them. His voice plays on loop in your mind, so deep and wanting. You recall the way his eyes inspect your body, and a warm ache builds in between your thighs, radiating throughout your whole body.

The feeling is intoxicating. You have experienced attraction, like how you think about Axle, you’ve even felt desire, but nothing like this. Thinking about the Supreme Leader makes you feel hungry to be touched in ways you have never experienced.

You bend your knees planting your feet on your cot, and your makeshift nightgown falls to your waist exposing your underwear. Your breath is coming fast and shallow as you think about Kylo’s strong shoulders, his lips, how they were the first lips that yours had touched. The ache in between your legs intensifies. Your desire starts to override your prudence, your own intimate cravings beginning to autopilot your body. You reach your hand between your legs, tentatively rubbing yourself over your underwear.

You’ve only done this a few times before, with mostly exploratory intentions, and you have no idea how to make it feel good, but your body is throbbing, begging you to at least try. Slowly, you slip your hand under your underwear, fingers fumbling around not sure where to start.

You’re fingers struggle dipping between your lips, slipping around in your wetness. Your hands lack expertise, the movements and location of your fingers feel clumsy. You feel frustrated, poking and prodding, trying to relieve the growing tension fueled by thoughts of Kylo Ren’s muscular frame and sultry words that are flooding your mind. But your fingers are lost in the intricacies of your own body, and you feel desperate.

You’re about to give up when you feel your own hand move, your fingers traveling up the opening of your sex. Panic momentarily seizes you, your fingers move so slightly, but you swear you aren’t controlling them. Your body freezes but your fingers continue to move, settling at the top of your folds, grazing something small and hard before your fingers automatically apply pressure.

You gasp at the feeling, instantly forgetting your mysterious loss of motor control. Your finger involuntarily starts to make slow, small circles over the spot they have guided you to. Its unlike anything you’ve ever felt, its simultaneously building and channeling the throbbing heat that is now pulsing through your entire body.

To your surprise, your fingers start to increase in speed and pressure, and you writhe on your cot, arching your back while your fingers work autonomously at your sex. You pant as you try to quiet the moans and gasps coming from your lungs. You have never felt anything this intense in your life.

The pleasure is quickly climbing, but to what, you don’t know. Your legs tremble and something tight and electric starts to scream in the base of your abdomen. You can barely control the little moans and gasps coming from your mouth.

“Kylo” you moan, you’re entranced, your breath vocalizing your mind’s fantasies.

You’re so close to something, you think it’s about to happen –

The alarm from your communication tablet sounds snapping you out of your high, you reach for your comm tablet finding that you have regained control over your hand. _Bacta_ , you have to give Kylo Ren his last Bacta treatment. Your brain is hazy and your body feels deprived of something that you don’t understand, you’re normally logical and precise brain is filled with a lusty haze.

You stumble to your feet finding your legs still quivering from whatever experience they just underwent. Your brain is still trying to clear the fog of pleasure as you feebly walk right into the Supreme Leaders bedroom.

He is sitting up in bed, there’s a faint smile on his face, he looks at you like he’s been expecting you. His torso is bare, lower body covered by his comforter; he could be completely naked for all you knew. Painfully slow, his gaze travels up and down your body.

“I see your comfortable in your sleepwear” Kylo cocks his head, raising his eyebrows.

You look down at yourself, you had forgotten that you were wearing nothing but a loosely fitting oversized tank top, your decency barely concealed.

“I – oh stars” Your brain finally clears from it’s pleasure induced hypnosis.

You pull the bottom hem of the tank top trying to find modesty, incidentally, causing the neckline of the tank top to come dangerously close to exposing your breasts. Your other arm flies across your chest to cover your now exposed cleavage.

“Bacta” is all you can manage to say. Between fight and flight, your instinct has landed on idiocy.

Kylo looks you up and down, smirking.

“I – I’m gonna give it to you… uh, right now” you say, immediately regretting your very wrong choice of words.

Kylo looks thoroughly amused, he rests back against his headboard flexing his arms and interlacing his hands behind his head. 

“I can’t wait” he says, his tone is mockingly seductive, you can tell he’s enjoying this.

Somehow his upper body looks even bigger now, and the muscles between your thighs squeeze in automatic response. Your face is burning as you stare at his body, still frozen in place. You had completely forgotten the Bacta.

“There’s a robe in my washroom” Kylo says to you, he seems satisfied with the entertainment you’ve provided.

“Thank you, Sir” you say, barely audible as you speed past him to his washroom. You find and quickly pull on his large black robe, it smells like him, you take a moment to inhale the scent before turning to move past him to retrieve the forgotten Bacta. His robe could fit 3 of you and it trails the floor like a wedding gown as you move back into his bedroom approaching his bedside.

You blush approaching him, your hands are fumbling fingers trembling. You go to unwrap the Bacta cartridge, but your shaky hands drop the packaging. Before you can reach down to retrieve it Kylo snatches your hands in his, encasing them in his massive palms. He looks down inspecting your fingers, giving them a little squeeze.

Your mouth goes dry thinking about where the fingertips he’s so closely inspecting have just been.

His gaze meets yours again, his voice is a low whisper “Having some trouble using your hands?”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU FOR READING!   
> This is my first work and its seriously so exciting to get kudos and comments and stuff.  
> It feels like Christmas I really appreciate it.  
> Feelin like I'm ready for shit to get 18+ so stick around.   
> Let me know what y'all think. More to come!!


	6. Comfortable?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You find yourself speechless, mouth agape in an emotional cocktail of mortification and arousal. Kylo Ren is still holding your hands tightly, his eyes setting your whole face on fire. You may be naïve, but you are smart enough to put the pieces together.

You find yourself speechless, mouth agape in an emotional cocktail of mortification and arousal. Kylo Ren is still holding your hands tightly, his eyes setting your whole face on fire. You may be naïve, but you are smart enough to put the pieces together.

Your mysterious loss of motor control while touching yourself had an explanation. How could you have let yourself be so vulnerable, only feet away from the force wielding Supreme Leader. Your cheeks ignite, far past the point of a coy blush as you come to realize who had taken a hold of your hands during your personal playtime, just as he was holding them now.

He squeezes lightly at your hands running his thumb over your knuckles, the sensation makes you want to submit to your desire for him, but your inexperience and anxiety freezes both your body and thoughts. Flustered, you inhale a shaky breath.

Kylo is still closely examining your hands in his own, his grip dwarfs your fingers. He looks up at you pulling you gently closer to him.

“You have so much to learn” his voice sends a shiver rippling through every vertebrae of your spine.

Kylo looks at you like you are a meal, eyes hungry and focused.

“So much knowledge about anatomy, yet none about your own body” His voice is steady, almost uninterested, but his eyes oppose his tone.

Your breath hitches in your throat, part of you wants to withdrawal your hands and run all the way back to the MedBay. But there is something else, a new, intoxicating feeling, one that you aren’t sure how to address. Your legs shake and between them there is a fire that desperately needs to be fed. It overpowers you.

“Teach me” you whisper, barely able to inhale enough to form the words.

You see Kylo’s mouth twitch, his jaw shuddering slightly behind his lips.

You catalog every detail of Kylo Ren’s face, his wide lips, sharp nose, you try to memorize him, wanting to save every part for your fantasies before recognizing that this isn’t a fantasy, this is real.

Holding both your hands in one of his, Kylo snakes his other hand up your arm easily wrapping the circumference of your upper arm with his fingers. He gives your arm a firm squeeze eyes meeting yours.

Your head is a blizzard of different sensations. Never have you explored the realms of your own sexual desire, but something about Kylo Ren’s presence seemed to corrupt you, opening the flood gates of your newfound libido, consuming you with fear and wanting. You barely breathe, your lungs are constricted by the swelling of your drumming heart. You cannot fathom allowing yourself to submit to your desire, and yet you cannot pull away either.

As if he has read your mind, he lowers his head “It’s ok, I feel it too”

His admittance is a substitution of your own and makes your body shudder, all you can do is offer a small nod.

He rubs his thumb over the skin of your upper arm “so afraid… afraid to be bad”

His voice makes you inhale sharply, your nerves struggle to calm.

Since the moment you had studied his face the first time, straddling his body on the gurney, he had infected your mind. Consuming your every thought, awakening something deep within you that you’d never known. The intensity of your desire for him autopilots your body and mind, you want to be his, want to meet his every desire.

“I… I d-don’t know how.” You admit, your voice hoarse with lust.

His free hand is now traveling up your arm fingertips tracing over your clavicle and up your neck to settle on your jaw. Lightly gripping your jaw, he hives your head a little wag, his eyes are fixed on your lips.

“Like I said, you have so much to learn.” He meets your eyes again.

“So much I can teach you”

His voice a perfectly low frequency reverberating through your body.

You feel yourself liquify, your next exhale coming with a quiet moan. Overwhelmed by his attention, you struggle to control your desire any longer, you want him, you want to please him, you want him to show you how to please him, how to fulfill his every command. You press your legs together, uncomfortable at your bodies pulsing response to his touch.

He brings your face closer to his, your mouths now inches apart. Your breath releases a shaky exhale into his parted lips, his eye twitches as he inhales you, hunger burning behind his light brown eyes. His lip curls slightly as his composure falters briefly.

The space in between your mouths is electric, a spicy tingle builds in your lips as you lick them wet. The feeling is like opposite magnets and you want to submit to the pull between you and the Supreme Leader’s body.

Unable to fight it any longer you release your fear, closing your eyes inviting your biology to control your next move.

Leaning forward lips slightly parted you close the inches of space between your mouth and his. Your lips just barely graze his, so gently its almost indetectable except for a spark of electricity snapping at the contact.

Kylo growls and pulls you back by his grip on your neck. You open your eyes in panic, his gaze is on you, his eyes piercing with intense energy, his pupils dilated. He looks at you with all the concentration of a predator stalking its prey.

Panic grips you, _how could you be so bold_ , your mind reels at your stupidity. _You shouldn’t have forgotten your place_. Tears threaten to form, stinging the inside of your nose.

“I’m s-so sorry… Supreme Leader. I, I d-don’t know what I was think-

He interrupts you, grip on your neck tightening, bringing your lips back to his, consuming your lips with his. His kiss is hungry and hard.

You stiffen in shock for a moment, then the familiar electricity travels through your body, new heat thawing you and building between your legs. Relaxing into his body you sigh out your nose, your exhale blanketing the joining of your two lips, Kylo grunts into you sending vibrations over your tongue.

You sigh into his mouth, you do not know how to kiss, this is your first time. So, you let his lips lead you through a perfect, slippery, choreography. Your body courses with crackling electricity, lighting you up like a saber. Your breath is long lost, but you don’t dare pull away from him to catch it.

He works his mouth over yours with experience and hunger, he’s both urgent and gentle, his lips dragging over yours, tongue grazing your teeth as he holds the back of your neck firmly.

The electricity now travels between the two of you, sending the current into his mouth and body from your own, a perfect closed circuit.

He gently pinches your bottom lip between his teeth, dragging his bite over your lip with a growl. The throbbing between your legs intensifies and you moan into him. His other hand loosens its grip on your own hands, it moves to adjust his own growing desire over the blanket before his palm travels up your arm. His massive hand moves over your shoulder blade underneath his oversized robe to settle on your lower back.

He grabs a fistful of your tank top, his other hand still gripping the back of your neck.

With incredible strength he jerks your body to his and you gasp into his mouth. Pressed to him your palms meet his bare chest to steady yourself.

Your faces separate briefly as you watch your hands explore his muscular chest. You let out a weak moan at the feeling of his body under your fingertips.

“Oh stars” you sigh, hands still coyly investigating his abdomen.

You have never touched a man like this, you didn’t even know they could be so… big. You give yourself a minute to enjoy the feeling of his skin stretching over his muscles a silent scream building between your thighs. A first among your many incomplete experiences. Your breathing is coming faster now.

Kylo Ren smirks, amused at your hypnotism.

Your hand travels up his body till it reaches the bandages of his wound, already soaked with fresh blood.

“Oh” you say quietly.

The sight of blood and bandages bringing you back to the reality of your position. Your professional duty now filtering through the lust hazing your thoughts.

“Maybe we should, uh, keep your blood pressure lower” you say as you collect fresh bandages from his bedside table, your body still radiating from the heat of desire as your actions turn professional.

“I’m fine.” he growls, there is an edge of irritation to his voice.

You deem that he is probably not accustomed to dealing with physical limitations, between his body and his ego, the latter is probably the weaker of the two. Fear momentarily seizes you; you do not want to aggravate his temper; you’ve seen the destructive force that this man is when he is angry. And still, a desire passes through you to be the subject of his destruction. You shake your head lightly, finding your reason, calculating a placation.

“I have no doubt in your, uh, _physical ability_ sir,” you say, blushing as your eyes register his massive, muscular frame.

Its true, a wound like this would incapacitate, if not kill, most living things.

“It’s my job, to help you heal” you give him a timid smile, wanting badly to press your lips back onto his.

His eyes travel slowly over your body as he examines your genuineness, jaw tensing before his body relaxes.

Once you finish his rebandaging you still in front of him making eye contact, the heat between your two bodies still a low simmer. His eyes travel over your body now partially revealed from under his opening robe, which has fallen slightly off your right shoulder.

“Rest nurse. You’ll need your strength” he says as his eyes search you.

There’s that tone again, deep and suggestive, the naughtiness in his implication makes you blush, and you turn to leave.

Catching your arm, Kylo spins you back to face him.

“Leave my robe.” he raises his chin slightly, eyes casting a heat over your body again, inspiring a spark in your courage.

“Yes Sir” you say as sexily as you can, turning your frame slightly away from him, glancing over your shoulder.

Slower than the flow of honey you peel his robe from your shoulder, exposing yourself inches at a time.

You glance at him; his gaze is trained on you. His eyes are flooded with something between amusement and primal hunger.

You slide the robe off your shoulder letting the robe fall to the floor exposing your small frame. You do your best to swallow your insecurities as you stand in front of him in your scanty sleepwear.

“Comfortable?” his voice is filled with hot provocation as his hand smooths over the bedding to readjust the tent formed by his erection.

“Yes, Supreme Leader” you breathe in your best effort to maintain your bravery.

You turn to leave, fighting the urge to pull at the hem of your dangerously short tank top.

“Goodnight Sir” you say as you move out of his bedroom closing the door behind you.

Once you’re alone you release a hot exhale. You move straight to the sink to get a glass of water in an effort to extinguish the fire in your abdomen.

As you gulp the water it spills over the corners of your mouth, trickling down your neck and between your breasts, tracing a line down your belly. The sensation mixed with the low temperature of the room makes you shudder.

Laying on your cot you find the chill of Kylo’s quarters almost unbearable in the absence of his warm body. You mind obsesses over the feeling of his lips on yours, his hands on your body, and the way his muscles felt underneath your fingertips. Your body trembles violently from your need and the cold of the room. You long for your body to be against his, his arms enveloping you in his warmth.

You almost don’t hear the sound of his door open, but then you see his massive silhouette moving towards you in the dark.

You freeze, breath sticking in your lungs as his body moves to your side in silence. In a swift movement he spreads something over your body, and you feel a slight weight move over you. He turns to leave, moving back into his room and closing the door without sound.

You move your hands to feel something thick and fluffy over your body, a blanket, he brought you another blanket.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi. sorry this chapter took so long.   
> At dinner my parents asked why I never let them read any of my writing. haha fuck.  
> I have so many ideas for the future of this story so hopefully I'll be writing often.  
> Ya'll stay safe and enjoy your summer.   
> And again if you're reading this THANK YOU, it makes me so excited to share my writing.   
> 98 Kudos is crazy to me, I'm so grateful for real!


	7. Maybe I Didn't Make Myself Clear

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your Supreme Leader gets possessive after your medical supervisor shows interest in you.

The next morning you wake up to your alarm. Sitting up you stretch your arms over your head yawning into animation. You feel around for your communications tablet, squinting at the screen to disable the alarm.

Lazily you look up to find Kylo Ren in the kitchen pouring a cup of coffee. Your mind replays last night’s events and panicked you automatically yank your blankets to your chest to cover your loosely clothed chest. He glances at your commotion, smirking momentarily.

“Hm. More conscious of your modesty this morning.”

You’re sure his intention is light provocation, but his tone is as serious as always, and comes more as a scolding. He is not very good at flirting, if that’s what he’s trying to do.

“You’re up early” you reply in shock. 

Your eyes take in the sight of him, he’s shirtless, the waistband of his sweats settling just under his hips. Your gaze follows a thin line of hair that connects his belly button to what lies below his pants. You swallow hard, his presence overwhelms your senses sending a rude awakening through your core.

“I received information that required my immediate attention” he replies as he sips his coffee, all but completely disregarding you.

“Oh, uh- is everything alright?” you reply, still in entranced by his presence.

“It will be resolved.” His reply comes quickly; he seems almost irritated at your inquisition.

You figure it’s not your place to ask about the business of the First Order, after all, your ranking is slightly better than custodial.

Instead, you take in the sight of him, leaning against the counter sipping coffee, staring at the opposite wall consumed in thought. You cannot help but fantasize about the same view, but in a different context, one where you’re his. You dismiss the thought quickly, it’s childish… and naïve, especially considering your difference in hierarchy.

You looked down at the blanket you are clutching, dark blue, the one that had been on his bed. He had brought it to you last night.

You wonder what he’s thinking about, if he regards last night events with any significance at all, the electricity that had been there. You miss the contact of his skin, the connection.

“Um, thank you, for the blanket” you say quietly.

“You were cold, I could hear it, your thoughts are… relentless.” He says as he takes another sip of his coffee, staring blankly at the wall opposite him. 

You need to treat his wound, but the confidence you had possessed last night to strut around in your sleepwear has disappeared. You swing your legs off your cot using his blanket to cover your lower half as you reach for your uniform skirt. You wince a little, your body is sore from sleeping on the cot.

Kylo sets his cup down on the countertop.

“I’ll be leaving to meet with General Hux shortly.” He says as he walks into his room, giving you a chance to change into your uniform top.

You collect medications and bandaging and move to the opening to his room.

“Yes Sir, um, can I dress your wound before you go?” You now know better than to pry regarding First Order business.

You stand at the doorway, looking into his bedroom, the scene of last nights events. The thought of how he’d kissed you makes you shiver a little.

“Come” he says as he emerges from the bathroom. You take that as permission.

You move to him redressing and medicating his wound, which still has plenty of healing to do, your heartbeat quickens as you work at his chest. His demeanor is so cold and emotionless, the memories of last night hanging over both of you, though his composure reveals nothing. When you’re done you step back from him.

“In your absence I’ll go to the MedBay to restock supplies” You say.

He looks at you for a moment, his thoughts and emotions indecipherable.

“Bring your Identification badge, I’ll grant you security clearance to get back into my quarters should you return before me” He says before stepping into his closet.

“Thank you, Sir”

You wish he would give you anything even the smallest ounce of recognition. An affirmation that last night’s events had even crossed his mind. But nothing, even as he comes into view beginning to outfit himself in layers of black clothing.

You turn out of the room to retrieve your ID badge. Maybe you’re kidding yourself entertaining any idea of romance, still, you didn’t know what else to expect. Last night was your first kiss, excluding administering CPR, and the only idea you had ever had about relationships came from stories.

You leave his quarters and head down the hall, breathing a sigh of relief as the elevator doors close behind you, the button for the MedBay floor illuminates like a homing beacon. Once on the floor you practically run to the MedBay. As you enter you look around, the beds are occupied by a few storm troopers with minor wounds. You’ve missed being here, doing your job, without any complications.

Axle, your supervisor, comes walking out of the supply closet that you’re headed to, meeting your eyes.

“(Y/N)!” he exclaims. “My right-hand woman has returned!”

“I wish. Just restocking supplies”, you reply. His stubble has grown out a little since the day you were taken prisoner, and it _definitely_ suits him.

“Still serving the master” he says, you blush instinctively. _You have no idea_.

“Too bad, I could use you around.” He says.

“Actually, MedBay’s pretty low on supplies too, I’ve got a dreadnaught coming in soon to restock. Walk with me to the loading bay, I’ll give you first dibs.” He gives you a beckoning nod of the head.

You beamed at him, so happy to be acknowledged, to be invited on an outing.

“Right behind you boss.” You say playfully and follow him out the door.

You reach the elevators, and he waits for you to step in first, following behind you hitting the Loading Bay level button with the back of his fist casually. The two of you have the elevator to yourselves but he slides in close to you. You liked his presence next to you, it felt safe, unlike Kylo Ren, who’s proximity sends your body into a state of excitatory panic.

“Listen,” Axle starts turning to face you.

“I’m, uh... I’m sorry I put you on the spot when Ren asked for you. I never wanted to leave you in an uncomfortable position, having to care for him-”

“No, it’s ok.” you stop him, turning to meet his gaze. You knew the moment of Kylo’s request your fate was sealed. Not a soul in the galaxy has the agency to challenge the demands of the First Order’s Supreme Leader. 

“I’m just glad he didn’t destroy the _entire_ clinic.” You add give him a smile.

“And I’m glad to see you’re alive, Ren can be merciless” Axle says, only half joking.

“Me too. I’m ready to get back to the MedBay.” Your gaze is locked on him, his eyes are engaging you with sincerity.

The elevator doors open and you move forward first, Axle quickly follows. The two of you head down the corridor to the Loading Dock, advancing towards the Dreadnaught that has recently landed. You go through a checklist of the supplies necessary for the Supreme Leader’s care, filling out an inventory order to be delivered to Kylo Ren’s quarters. Axle orders the remaining supplies to the MedBay, double checking the supply load for damage.

“We’ll have your orders delivered within the hour” replies a Storm Trooper.

You couldn’t deny, there was an advantage to serving the Supreme Leader, even though you are only a nurse, you are _his_ nurse, and because of that your requests are treated with intense priority. 

Leaving the Loading Dock, you start back down the corridor. When you reach the elevators your hand moves for the call button but before you get far Axle snatches your hand in his. Using your momentum to spin you back towards him, he catches your other hand as you meet his body.

His eyes gather yours, anticipation forming a halo around his pupils. There is a sense of affection about him, something you’ve caught hints of but had yet to actualize, until this moment.

He holds both your hands earnestly, smiling at you like he’s genuinely happy that you’re standing in front of him.

“Look (Y/N), considering the uh... _merciless_ of your new patient, I’m worried this may be my last opportunity to ask you on a date,” He says with a sarcastic sense of gravity, you respond with a little laugh.

He smiles giving your hands a slight squeeze before focusing his eyes on yours.

“I know the StarKiller is pretty limited when it comes to romantic spots,” he says.

His gaze travels briefly to your hands in his before returning to your eyes. 

“But I want to spend time with you, get to know you” His voice is so sincere, it makes you smile. He looks at you with confident expectance.

You take a moment to gather yourself, letting the morning’s confusion and disappointment that had been built by Kylo Ren disappear. Instead you focus on the handsome face in front of you.

“I, uh- I would like that… a lot.” Your reply is quiet, you can barely get your mouth to form the words through your smile.

“So that’s a yes,” Axle says beaming a beautiful, smile full of teeth back at you.

His hands release yours to carefully move to your waist and you grip his forearms, locking them there, nonverbally telling him not to let go. You won’t think about the logistics; about the fact that you didn’t know the next time you would be free from Kylo Ren, or the fact that Axle was your supervisor. You just want to enjoy the novelty of the moment, of being asked on a date, of being admired, of being wanted.

You move your arms up his, interlacing your hands around the back of his neck

“Yes, that’s a yes” you say through your smile.

The two of you are stand embraced in front of the elevator when the doors open, it takes you a moment to remember that you had yet to press the call button when the doors part to reveal a massive shadow to your peripheral vision.

“Nurse.” The voice is dominating, reverberating forcefully from the shadow, it shakes you to your absolute core. You retract your hands from Axle’s neck, he takes a moment longer to release your waist.

You turn to face the voice of your Supreme Leader, sending a chill through your blood. He takes a step towards you and Axle, crossing the threshold of the elevator doors with one bound, dwarfing the both of you. The form he now takes on realizes the one you feared from legend. Cloaked in black from head to toe, his presence is broad and ominous, and the face that had interlocked with yours the night before is now concealed by his newly repaired helmet. Crimson veins run through the black and chrome as evidence of its recent repair.

“My quarters, _now._ ” his voice is a modulated vibrato, your whole-body tenses.

A small whimper comes from your lungs, your body immediately cowering in the presence of his power. He pivots turning back into the elevator to face you, a torrent of shadow. You do not dare disobey his order. You take one last glance at Axle, he returns your gaze with desperation, knowing that to protect you could be his termination. Accepting your outcome, you move into the elevator, back facing your Supreme Leader, compliantly reaching out to press the button for the top level. You hold Axle’s eye contact with panic until the elevator doors start to close, sealing your fate.

The moment the elevator doors seal Kylo Ren in on you. One gloved hand forces your upper body forward, bending you at the waist, your palms meet the elevator doors in front of you to keep your face from launching into the steel. He holds you, pinned, positioned at his mercy. He leans forward so that the cold metal of his helmet grazes your left cheek.

“Maybe I didn’t make myself clear” his voice is mechanical, lust driven rage.

“You serve no one, but me” you hear his breath huff as his free hand contacts the flesh of your ass, hard.

Sharp pain follows the crack of the contact and you whimper.

“You submit yourself to no one, but me” He reprimands, another smack, spanking you harder this time.

You gasp, stuck in a state of shock. The hand he has pinned to your back snakes around your waist, jerking your boy flush with his, his free hand reaches around to grip your jaw.

His breath hisses through his voice modulator, and your body moves slightly with the deep rise and fall of his chest. His grip on you is aggressive, pressing you into submission against his body.

“Am I understood.” The words come as a demanding breath through his helmet, not a question but an order.

“Y-Yes, s-sir… yes sir, I-I understand.” You pant in desperation, but the feeling of your body against his ignites something needy and primal, betraying your mind’s rational fear.

His gloved hand on your jaw moves down your body over your hips, falling on the soreness of your ass.

“Such a good girl.” his voice comes hot and distorted, vibrating where his helmet meets your cheek.

He gently grips and rubs the flesh that he has assaulted.

The elevator stills and he releases his grip on you, causing you to stumble forward slightly, separating your body from his. The elevator doors open to the floor of your Supreme Leader’s quarters. Between shock and the anticipation of your final destination, you struggle to compose your motor control. As you go to move forward his voice comes behind you, mechanical, and dripping with seduction.

“I think you’re ready for your first lesson”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I am so excited that there are people enjoying this.   
> I am certainly enjoying writing it.   
> Also, I really appreciate the comments and Kudos left on this work it is so encouraging!   
> Thank You. It's 4am, I'm going to sleep goodnight.   
> BLACK LIVES MATTER!!!


	8. First Lesson

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> “You want me to teach you.” He says as he tightens his grip on your legs, prying them apart slightly.
> 
> “And so, I will”

You step forward out of the elevator pausing for a minute in shock. The anticipation of whatever Kylo Ren is about to do to you is overwhelming your body and mind.

You’re afraid, you have no sexual experience whatsoever and so many thoughts are running through your head. But through it all, you feel a heat building in your body, the sting of where his massive hand had come down on your backside is now a hot swell, trickling in between your legs. It is such a familiar but foreign feeling, one that only your Supreme Leader seems to induce. Your knees shake a little, you want this so badly, and at the same time you’re scared out of your mind.

Kylo’s massive cloaked figure moves around you, briskly walking down the corridor towards his chambers.

“Don’t keep me waiting.” Comes his voice through the modulator of his helmet, it is a demand. You will your body to follow, doing your best to catch up him.

He reaches his door before you, holding it open for you to enter his quarters. He is a statue of intimidation. You feel the furious heat radiating off of his body, he had seen you and Axle together in front of the elevators. You swallow hard, forcing down the anticipation and dread for Kylo’s “lesson”, he does not strike you as the _positive reinforcement_ type.

You enter his quarters and move to the living room, sitting on the edge of your cot.

“No nurse, the bedroom. Now.” He says as he stalks towards you before turning into his room.

You get up and follow him into the dark cold room, taking a seat on the edge of his bed as your legs threaten to give out. He stands over you, a giant. The red repair lines of his mask glowing down at your dwarfed frame on his bed.

He squats in front of you so that his mask is inches from your face. His hands rest softly on the tops of your thighs.

“You want me to teach you.” He says as he tightens his grip on your legs, prying them apart slightly.

“And so, I will” his voice is quiet, and laced with an insatiable appetite. His mask tilts as you feel his gaze examine your body all over.

“Will you do as I say?” This time his voice comes with the hiss of his breath through his mask.

“Y-yes, Sir” you reply in with a gasp.

“Good Girl” He breathes, his voice is hungry.

He is devious, hands moving up your thighs under the skirt of your uniform. You can hear the slight heaviness of his breath through his helmet and you realize that you are now at the mercy of his self-control, which as you’ve seen, is not his strong suit.

His hands slide further up your thighs, his fingers wrapping around your hips, before one gloved hand begins to creep between your legs. Half of a whimper comes out of your parted lips. And this seems to rouse him further.

He moves his hand further to grip your inner thigh just below your underwear, you open your legs to him just a little wider before your rationality catches up with your needy body.

“Such a fast learner” His voice is husky, and deep. Your breath is coming in quick pants from the mix of fear and arousal.

Amused, his big gloved fingers find your underwear, stroking you lightly over the fabric, teasing you into submission. You gasp, even the slightest sensation of his touch on your sex completely overwhelms you. His thumb finds your clit over your underwear, teasing you with momentary pressure making you moan, your abdomen muscles contracting. You grasp at his broad shoulders for stability, you search the metal of his helmet for any sign of his face, licking your lips wishing you could kiss him again.

Suddenly he releases his grip on you to stand, towering over you. In the absence of his contact your mind clears for a moment, fear pulling ahead of lust in the race to control your mind. You close your legs scooting back slightly on the bed. He looms over you, the only evidence of his intentions is the hard figure of his size through his pants, which is now in your direct line of sight. From what you can tell, the length is intimidating.

“Take off your clothes” he says with a deep anticipation, his words abrade you, and all you can do is bite your lip, frozen in panic.

“Now.” he demands after a moment of your unresponsiveness.

You do not want to test his patience, so you do as he says, fueled by concern and a spark of desire. You want to learn; you want _him_ to teach you all the things you don’t know about your body and about his. You don’t want to disappoint him.

“Yes, sir” you say looking straight into the depth of his mask as your fingers begin to delicately open your blouse, one button at a time.

You keep your gaze focused on his mask as you wiggle your shoulders out of your blouse, you lay back slowly lifting your hips to pull off your skirt. You’re trembling, sitting in front of him in only your underwear now, he gives you a small not of encouragement and you reach your hands around your back to undo your bra. You hear a heavy breath come through his mask as you shrug off your bra revealing your chest, nipples perking in response to the chill of the room. No one has ever seen you like this before, and now, the first man to see you topless is the most feared man in the galaxy. You find yourself fearful for his approval, worried he wont like what he sees. You haven’t ever considered your body as a subject of desire.

Hearing your thoughts, he kneels in front of you, grabbing both your hips to scoot you closer to him, he holds you there, the only sounds are the harmonies of your breathing and his. One hand finds your lower back, steadying you close to him, the other roaming over your shoulder before gently cradling your exposed breast.

Your breath breaks in your lungs as he feels you. He gently squeezes your chest, his hand easily gripping your whole breast. Between the electricity buzzing at his eager contact and his low grunts of approval he dissolves your concerns.

“Mm. Such a pretty little thing.” His voice is husky and almost too low to be audible through his helmet.

His words make you melt, wetness saturating your underwear, you moan as he continues to massage your breasts. _Pretty little thing,_ you play his voice over in your head immediately, spurring on your longing, your willingness to please him.

He grips your waist, pulling you both to your feet before switching positions with you so he is behind you, both of you facing away from the bed. He releases you and you hear him shift, sitting on the bed.

“Sit” his voices comes from behind you and you turn your head glancing at him to see him pat his thighs.

You oblige, gently sitting on his lap, he wraps his arms around you tugging your body to situation your back against his broad chest. Your cheek meets the side of his mask as the back of your neck finds his shoulder for support. Your legs are shaking in anticipation, your breath coming in heavy pants. The space between your legs is aching for something, anything. Separating your thighs to straddle his leg you arch your back trying to grind yourself against his thigh, but his forearm grips you tighter around your midsection. He presses your body firm against his closing the space between your lower back and his abdomen.

“Relax, little thing” he says as his hands give your body a little squeeze, holding you strong against himself. His palms begin smoothing over your abdomen and towards your underwear.

Against his demand, your breath quickens as his hand moves south. But before he reaches his destination, he moves to grab your own hand under his, his large fingers settling over the tops of your own as he guides both of you under the fabric of your panties.

Your breath hitches as he guides your fingers to the top of your folds, pressing lightly on your hand so that your fingertips push down on the same spot he had guided you to with the force. You jump at the sensation, every nerve ready to ignite. A whimper comes from your mouth as you’re unable to restrain the electric surge coursing through you.

“Shh.” comes the baritone of his voice through his helmet.

You breathe into your stimulation wiggling your hips, grinding against his lap. He’s incredibly hard, a growl comes from him in response to your ass exploring his erection. You’re so filled with need, so curious as to what something of that size would feel like inside of you. He senses your desire and presses his fingers down on yours to rub a rhythmic motion lightly into your clit.

Your body’s response in immediate, gasping at the feeling, an itchy hunger growing in your belly. You can hear that he’s breathing slow and heavy now.

“Stay” he commands as he leaves your fingers to continue his instruction.

He moves his hand lower past yours, his fingers dipping between your outer flesh to gently tease at your entrance. Your legs twitch, but then open wider, little breathy moans rippling out of your lips. You do your best to focus on the spot where he left you, pressing little patterns into your clit but the anticipation is seizing your whole body. You have never felt anything inside of you and you don’t know what to expect, anticipation wracks your back as he presses his fingertip a centimeter into you. You feel yourself throb around the slight invasion of his finger. You whine, your own fingers still following his instruction, you need him to go further, deeper into you. And he hears you.

“ _Relax_ , little thing” he commands you again, the vibration of his voice at your cheek makes you squeal.

Then all at once he pushes his middle finger into you all the way. Despite your wetness, he works hard against the resistance of how tight you are. There’s a twinge of pain as his finger penetrates you to the hilt and you gasp, throbbing around him. Slowly he begins working his finger moving slightly in and out and the pain swirls into intoxicating pleasure.

“ _Fuck_ , such a tight little thing” Kylo growls into your ear. You throw you head back onto his shoulder, whining, making little circles with your hips unable to sit still.

“ _Mm. So innocent_ ” He growls.

You can tell by the tension of his body and the twitch of his erection against your ass that Kylo is fighting for his self-control. His free hand flies to your chest, groping your breast hard as he fingers you faster. You feel slippery against him, and you clench around his finger.

All the stimulation you’re experiencing makes you greedy, you want to spur him further. You writhe forward on his leg needing more, reaching around to move your fingertips gently over his pants, finding his hard dick.

“ _Oh stars_ ” you gasp as your hand grips him over his pants finding how big he is. You hear Kylo huff through his mask. You want so badly to tip him over the edge, you want to find out what else he can do to you. But despite the growls coming from him, he remains in control, expertly working his finger in and out of you, hitting spots inside you that you didn’t know were there.

You squeeze at his dick over his pants and in response he fingers you harder and faster. The sensation from all the stimulus is building fast, sweat rolls down your back and every exhale comes with a little whine.

Your so close to something, just like when you had touched yourself, but this time it’s almost too much to handle. Your body is vibrating, intensity building from your touch and his, you feel like you could cry.

“ _Kylo, I- Kylo_ ” you moan. Not knowing what’s happening, your body starts to shake in his grip, you’re so close it.

Kylo fingers you hard and fast, and you’re squirming all over his lap, you throw your head back against his chest and his voice comes between his own heavy pants.

“Cum for me little thing” as if your body had been trained to his command you snap. The crescendo of your first orgasm rips through you, vision blacking out you convulse and tremble against him. The intensity is unlike anything you’ve ever experienced, electricity rippling through every limb.

You feel your molten pleasure drip all over Kylo’s hand, his other holds your quivering body tight against him.

“That’s right… _good girl_ ” his deep modified voice hisses at your ear.

If he hadn’t been holding you, you’d surely be on the floor, unable to comprehend what you had just experienced, your body shakes with exhaustion. For a moment you are limp against him before his arm swoops under your knees. Picking you up in one swift motion, he carries you to the bathroom.

He sets you on the counter and you sway a little when he releases your body, you steady yourself for a moment. Kylo moves to the shower, turning on the water before unlocking his helmet with a hiss and turning to you.

His face is as gorgeous as ever, and stoic with control despite his still obvious erection through his pants. Even if you knew what to do about it, you don’t think you physically could, your body is Jell-O as you sit on the counter gawking at him.

“You did well. Shower and rest, you’ll need it.”

And just like that he turns out of the bathroom closing the door behind him.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> THANK YOU to everyone leaving comments and Kudos, it means so much to hear from ya'll.   
> Things are finally getting real smutty, I hope this shit gives you a blast of serotonin! See ya soon!
> 
> And please, if ya'll have a minute sign this petition urging that all cops be required to undergo screening for racial bias and psychological disorders.
> 
> https://www.change.org/p/robert-menendez-federally-required-iat-and-psychological-screenings-for-police-officer-employment?recruited_by_id=62850980-d428-012f-1ef0-40401bfb750c 
> 
> BLM!


	9. Tempting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Honestly, just too much talk about coffee.

You awake before your alarm the next morning, grateful to be woken up by your body rather than the harsh blare, it always gave you an easier start to the day. Your first thought is how good it had felt to shower, then your mind retraces the rest of last night’s events, and how much better that had felt.

You blush, the memory of last night is dreamlike, vivid but clouded by an emotional haze. Your sleep has sobered you and as you shake off your drowsiness you remember everything with more clarity. You recall how your Supreme Leader, the _most powerful_ man in the galaxy, had sat you on his lap and finger-fucked you to the climax of your sexual awakening... now that you think about it, _maybe it was a dream_.

You would have convinced yourself it had all been a fantasy of your mind, had your hair not still been damp and fragrant from the shower… the shower he had carried you to in your stupor of overstimulation and exhaustion. The details of it all come flooding back and your body temperature jumps a few degrees making you throw your blankets to the side.

You sit up and groggily check the time on your communications tablet, he will need his morning medications pretty soon. You panic at the thought of facing him, you have no clue what the behavioral protocol is for this situation. Now part of you wishes it _had_ been a fantasy, that would certainly make the situation easier.

Considering his complete disregard for you the morning after you’d kissed; your expectations are low and your heart sinks. You understand the difficulties of his and your situation, not to mention his general apathy, yet, you yearn for some sort of acknowledgment. You curse your longing for care and admiration, why do you have to be so sensitive.

You hoped that in leaving home and working for the First Order that maybe, just maybe you’d find someone and fall in love. It would be ignorant to believe those hopes would be fulfilled by the Supreme Leader.

Still, there have been moments where he has seemed almost caring, like when he brought you a blanket, and how delicately he had carried you to the shower. You cling to those gestures, wanting more. Well, to be honest you want more of _everything_.

Maybe it’s your fundamental need to please, or maybe you want to earn his attention; whatever the motivation, you decide this morning you’ll make the first gesture.

You stand from your cot and move to the kitchen to start the coffee maker, based on your previous observation Kylo likes his coffee strong and black, not surprising. You decide bringing him a cup of coffee will be a modestly intimate gesture.

Moving to the kitchen you stand in front of the coffee machine, sizing it up. The previous warmth that your body had generated is not match for the chill of the kitchen. You stand in your First Order commissioned “nightgown” with your arms folded tightly over your chest in an effort to trap your body heat.

“hm” you grumble, squinting to inspect the machine.

It’s complicated and high tech, like everything else in Kylo’s quarters. There are too many buttons, each with little symbols that look more like the Sith alphabet than coffee settings. You pry at the top panel, you can’t seem to find where to put the coffee beans, or where to put anything for that matter.

You give a few of the devices exploratory tugs and twists, Kylo doesn’t seem like the type to keep the user manual. In frustration, you take your chances pressing a little button with the least menacing looking icon, the machine starts a gentle hiss.

Before you can decide whether or not that is a good sound, one of the nozzles starts spraying some kind of hot milk foam all over the place, you squeal in shock and desperately start trying to press buttons to make it stop, all the while, hot foam splatter paints both you and the countertop. After pressing almost every tiny button on the machine you reach back unplugging it, and finally, it ceases its attack.

Both your sleep tank and the countertops are covered in frothy milk. You sigh, _“seems like an excessive amount of force for a coffee machine_ ” You mutter to yourself in exasperation.

You reach for a towel, wetting it under the sink to try and clean yourself off. You wipe most of the foam off of your body but before you get the chance to start on the counter you hear Kylo’s bedroom door open behind you.

You swivel around to face him, feeling defeated (and by a coffee machine of all things). He is standing in his doorway, his hair messy from sleep yet he still looks stoic as ever, he scans the messy scene apathetically. His brows furrowing in either anger or confusion.

Your heart thumps in your throat, you had hoped to start the day with a kind gesture, to try and get his attention in a positive way before he could shut you out. You wanted to try and make this morning just a _little_ ceremonious, but instead you have made a mess of his pristine kitchen, and you fear his reaction.

“I – I’m sorry, I was going to make coffee and then the machine, well, I just couldn’t figure it out” You say apologetically, gazing down at the wet spot of milk and water on your tank top.

You glance up to read his expression, he looks around at the mess, agitation clearly building, but when his eyes meet yours, they soften. The way he considers you is _almost_ gentle. Still he says nothing.

You turn back to the counter, using your rag to start cleaning up your mess. Footsteps cross the room towards you and you still for a moment, bracing yourself, unsure of what to expect in response to your mistake. But instead he just moves to the coffee machine at your side. Silently he adjusts the nozzles and positions the cup under one of the spouts.

“Coffee is this one” he turns slightly to you pointing at one of the buttons, his voice is soft.

He makes sure you see before pressing the correct button, you nod in response, unsure of what to think of his calm demeanor. The machine makes a low whirring sound and you flinch a little, eyeing it suspiciously. Kylo makes a noise, it takes you a second before you realize he is grinning, and that the noise had been a chuckle.

“It doesn’t bite” he says with a smirk, his voice is amused but still raspy with sleep.

He reaches above and takes another cup from the cabinet, removing the full cup and placing the second in its place. Either he’s making himself two, or he’s making you a cup. Your heart warms as he turns to you with a little grin on his face.

“Do you want foam?” he says sarcastically, his eyes are playful.

“I think I’ve had enough” you reply smiling up at him. At your side, your reminded of how massive he is, even without all the robes.

Your heart cartwheels in your chest, his slight cordiality is enough for you, even though he had commandeered _your_ coffee plan.

Once you finish wiping down the counter you move to take a seat. Kylo doesn’t have a table, but then again, he probably doesn’t have a need for one, instead he has a sleek black island with two steel barstools. You move to one of them wincing as the cold metal comes in contact with the bare backs of your thighs.

Kylo reaches easily over the island to place your coffee in front of you before taking his own, sipping it while leaning against the counter across from you. The space between the two of you buzzes like an electric current traveling through the air of the kitchen. He remains silent, and so do you, concentrating your gaze on your finger tracing the rim of your cup in front of you. In the quiet your thoughts travel to last night, if only there were an elegant way to bring it up, to tell him how much you had liked it. You wish there were a casual way to explain how good it had felt when he held you and worked his fingers inside you, how much you liked feeling how hard he was while you sat on his lap.

You let out a little sigh, your thoughts of last night igniting a tremble between your legs, your pelvis squeezes at nothing. You wiggle your hips a little against the cool metal of the stool in an attempt to extinguish the building heat.

Your silent desire stokes the current between you and the Supreme Leader. You are aware that he likely hears your thoughts, but you can’t seem to help them from flooding your mind. Kylo Ren exhales from his nose.

“Tempting” he says his voice now awakened with desire.

Your finger stills on its path around the rim of your mug, slowly you look up to meet his gaze. His eyes are considering you with hungry power. And yet, his demeanor betrays nothing, his control is admirable, far better than yours. Desire seems to override your inhibitions, and your curious as to just how tempting you can be.

You drop both your hands to the metal of the stool in between your knees, pushing your shoulders forward so that your arms frame your chest, flirtatiously pressing your breasts together. Keeping his eye contact you lean forward over the counter ever so slightly, just enough that your tank top gapes, giving him a full view of your cleavage. Your gaze leaves his eyes to innocently inspect your coffee and you hear Kylo shift in front of you.

Kylo tsks as he sets his coffee down on the counter.

“ _Very_. Tempting.” Kylo says as he slowly makes his way towards you.

“I know what you’re doing” his voice is low and deep, and he stills behind you, close enough that your shoulder blades brush his abdomen.

The warmth between your two bodies is conducting electricity through you like a battery. His presence at your back fills you with both desire and anxiety.

“Wh-what am I doing, Supreme Leader” you say as suggestively as you can, playing on your innocence.

Behind you he exhales, with a low grunt. Before his hands grip the sides of your stool, easily spinning it so that you are facing him. His arms frame you on either side and he crouches, face inches from yours, a predator in front of its prey. He leans in to skate his lips over your ear.

“Why don’t you feel it.” His voice is a growl.

Your brain is going haywire with intimidated lust, your mouth watering. Electricity buzzing through your body making your knees shake.

“hu-huh?” you gasp through breathy pants. It’s the only verbal communication you can manage.

“Why don’t you _feel_ what you’re doing.” He growls again at your ear.

He grips your wrist tightly, moving your hand to his pants till your palm finds his erection. You gasp, gripping it lightly earning a forced exhale from him. You slowly rub up and down his length over his pants, he is massive. Your hand curiously grips at his hard girth, drool threatening to cascade your lips at the feeling.

He struggles to maintain steadiness in his breath and straightens slightly to gaze down at you. You are mesmerized, mouth agape slightly, gasping lightly as you explore his cock with your hand. He tenses, a low grunt vibrating through his chest.

You squeeze him a little harder, wondering what you would do with it, and if it would even fit inside of you. You whimper at the thought, your desire soaking through your underwear.

Suddenly, Kylo snatches your jaw forcing you to meet his gaze. His other hand gripping your wrist moving it back to your lap. You whine a little wanting to reach out and touch him again. His grip tightens on your jaw and you look him in the eyes, his pupils are dilated.

“When I get back.” his voice is almost ominous, and his gaze is hungry on your mouth. 

You let out a short sigh of compliance, but your body craves more. He lets go of your jaw and steps back, his dick still at attention under his pants.

“I need to meet with General Hux” he says, his undereye twitches as he regains his composure. He starts towards the door to his bedroom, his fists clenched as if he’s desperately trying to keep his figurative self-control in his grip.

He pauses at his doorway.

“I expect you’ll behave in my absence” He says without turning to face you, his voice is commanding.

“Yes, Sir” you whisper, a quick automatic response to the authority he exudes.

You are rigid with sexual frustration, struggling to regain yourself. You shudder, taking a deep breath trying to re-evaluate reality, easing your brain back into complex thoughts that don’t involve Kylo Ren’s erection.

It takes you a moment to remember why you’re in his quarters in the first place…. Meds. You move to your med-kit any take out his morning and afternoon medications. Double checking to make sure your sex hazed brain hasn’t miscounted any dosages.

You turn to the kitchen and wait until he reemerges from his room, dressed head to toe in black, every ounce of his humanity concealed, a stoic warrior outfitted for battle. You stand in front of him, medications in hand and you peer up at his masked face. You look at the pills in your palm and then back to his masked face, unsuccessfully trying to hold back a giggle.

“What.” His voice is stern through the modulator.

You bite your lip holding back your giggles. The most feared man in all the galaxy stands before you, a mighty masked figure. And you’re trying to work out the logistics of asking him to remove his helmet to take his morning medications. The whole scenario is so far beyond the expectations you’d had when you became a nurse that somehow it provides you a moment of comic relief.

“Um, you have to take your medications, Sir” you snicker as you motion towards his helmet. You can feel him staring you down, clearly unamused.

“We could do a suppository instead if you’d like” You break into a fit of giggles.

His hands fly to the sides of his helmet, releasing it with a hiss, the sight of his gorgeous (and annoyed) face quiets your giggles instantly.

“Very funny” he bites back in annoyance, snatching the medications from your outstretched hand. You hand him the glass of water you’d prepared.

You look at him, reminded of when he had aggressively told you his favorite color was blue, you like these moments, where his humanity doesn’t match the intense ferocity of his reputation.

His adam’s apple bobs as he forcefully swallows the last of his medication, his hair is slightly messed from taking off his helmet. You marvel in these instances, where there are brief lapses in his fearsome power, and you get to see that he can actually be really cute.

You snap yourself out of it, remembering your place, and his. Your mother had warned you when you were younger that its easy to become attached to the first person that you’re physical with. And if one thing was clear, it was that romance was probably not an option with Kylo Ren.

“Anything else” his voice is like a clap of thunder and it startles you right back into submission.

“Uh- I can give your afternoon round to take with you if your going to be gone...”

“Unnecessary, I’ll be returning shortly” He says sternly before replacing his helmet.

His massive figure starts towards the blast doors, before he pauses, you see his shoulders broaden before he turns his head slightly so that the profile of his mask is visible over his shoulder.

“One more thing nurse,” He says, and your knees shake, instantly regretting having belittled his authority.

“Y-yes?” you reply 

“Drop the attitude, or things will be much harder for you when I return.” He growls, before turning briskly to exit the quarters.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi! Thank you for all the kind words and Kudo's on the last chapter.   
> I really can't decide how I feel about this chapter, too much coffee and character development and stuff.  
> It's so much easier to do the horny words you know?   
> Anyway, let me know what you think!   
> Next chapter you'll find out about some First Order business!


	10. Consequences

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Having shown you what its like to be the object of his savagery, you should fear him, and part of you does, but another part of you fixates on his ability to be delicate, caring even, its that very duality that makes you long for him in more ways than you can comprehend.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Kylo Ren gets big mad and takes it out on you:  
> This chapter contains slightly dubious consent and forceful oral sex!  
> Shame. Less. Smut.

It almost seems silly to get dressed, at this point Kylo Ren had seen much more of you than your sleepwear reveals, still you like to think you are an innately modest person, although Kylo’s presence seems to have corrupt that personal value. Still, your tank is wet and milky around the collar from being attacked by the coffee machine, so you strip and get yourself dressed in full uniform.

Kylo Ren has been gone for about half an hour and somehow his quarters seem even colder without his presence. He said he would be returning shortly and hadn’t accepted his noon medications to-go, meaning he could be back anytime between now and noon.

You pace around his quarters, the silence is suffocating, you feel invasive being in this space in his absence, or maybe it was anticipation for what was to come, his voice repays in your head “when I get back”.

Not knowing what was in store for you makes your whole-body shake, though, the cold doesn’t help either. The way you left things you can guess that whatever it is, it was probably going to involve your uniform on the floor (now getting dressed really did seem silly).

Curious, your legs carry you to his room, it’s a lavish dungeon, cold and dark. You sit on the bed feeling it sink slightly under your weight, it’s so soft and smooth. You had forgotten what a real bed felt like. The only thing that the StarKiller had afforded you was some variation of a cot. You lay back on the bed, head resting on Kylo’s pillow, finding a little bit of homely comfort as you close your eyes.

As your head hits the pillow your nose is enveloped with Kylo’s smell, its woody, smokey almost, making you press your legs together, lighting up memories of his touch in your brain.

You think about his stature, how small he makes you feel, how he turns you to submission so easily. More confusing even than the newness of physicality is the newness of feelings, you don’t know how to address the attraction you feel towards him, his actions towards you are a foreign language. You have no other romantic experience to reference, no baseline to determine normalcy. All you know is that Kylo awakens an electric need in your spirit, and sometimes, you could swear you do the same to him. Something builds steadily between the two of you, you know that for sure. You remember the electricity between your lips when you kissed him for the first time, like an unruly circuit. How it had shocked the both of you (literally and figuratively). 

You take a moment more to lie there, playing out the fantasy in your mind of Kylo being next to you, before getting up and straightening the covers. You walk out of his bedroom and sit on your cot facing the only window in the whole cabin. You can see snow and ice outside, a desert of white, and beyond that the depth of the galaxy, it’s always relatively dark on Ilum and you can see the stars.

You hear the whoosh of the blast doors opening behind you, followed by quick heavy footsteps, you whip your head around to see Kylo still in the kitchen facing you. With a hiss he unlocks his helmet and slams it onto the countertop, his eyes are furious, face flushed with anger, you stand stepping back as if expecting to be attacked. Clearly whatever had come up during his meeting with Hux had left Kylo enraged and your heart thumps loudly in your throat. You have seen the vicious force of nature he can become and fear sends a shiver down your spine.

“Uh – is everything um- ok?” you whisper.

Kylo looks you up and down, his undereye twitching slightly, he looks displeased.

“Sir?” you say as softly as you can, in an effort to de-escalate the situation.

Kylo’s eyes rake your body again before meeting yours, you realize he’s scornfully registering your uniform.

“Strip.” He commands. His eyes are furious and hungry.

“Kylo- I” you choke back in contention.

In three long strides he’s on you, his hand snatching your face by the jaw yanking your head to the side before leaning in to whisper in your ear.

“Either you strip, or I do it for you.”

A squeak of either excitement or terror leaves your lungs, you move your hands to start unbuttoning your blouse. He waits in front of you for a moment impatiently before taking your collar in his hands and ripping it open to speed up the process. Buttons clatter as they decorate the floor.

You jump, whole body trembling. As you meet his eyes again you can see his composure and patience dissipating by the millisecond, and you waste no time pushing your skirt past your knees and stepping out of it. You hesitate to continue, still trying to preserve the modesty that your panties and bra provide you. You seek understanding in his eyes but are met with only the blackness of his dilated pupils, filled with sex starved rage.

In a swift motion one large palm is on the small of your back another at the nape of your neck and he pulls you close to him. Your body moves with the heavy rise and fall of his chest as he holds you, craning your head to look up at him. Leaning in deliciously close his lips feather your jawline before stilling over your ear.

“You think you can tease me, and there won’t be consequences?” his voice drips into your brain, deep and hoarse with desire.

You whimper, and he tightens his grip on your body.

“Answer me, _nurse_!” his voice booms.

“N-No, No, Sir” You reply through shaky breaths of disbelief.

Your knees cannot squeeze together any harder, though your body begs for touch. Adrenaline and fear being redirected in your mind, becoming pure desire. You feel your longing to submit to him under his strong grip, an itch growing low in your stomach demanding him and only him.

“Good girl,” he growls “then I expect you’ll comply with your consequence” the intensity of his emotion suffocates you and all you can do is nod, thoughts of him in your head making you salivate.

Without a word he tightens his grip on your back lifting you to him, instinctively you wrap your legs around his waist, throwing your arms around his neck to steady yourself. Your response excites him, and he snarls, pulling your head to his, leaning in to crash his lips against yours, the familiar spark igniting at the contact making him groan. One hand snakes around your torso to your chest, dipping his hand under your bra to palm at your breast with enough force to make you squeal into his mouth.

You kiss him back trying to match his fervor, but he’s ravenous, nipping your bottom lip, his mouth consuming yours. His tongue passes your lips to lick your teeth as he moves you to his bedroom. His hand on your neck travels down your back groping your ass hard enough that you’re sure there will be a bruise. You hold his strong torso tightly with your thighs, feeling his massive erection brush your sex through the layers of clothing, making the muscles in your pelvic floor pulse.

The sheer passion and sexual aggression have your head spinning, your lungs chasing breaths in an effort to get oxygen to your brain. But you’re already liquid, happily drowning in the carnal force pooling between the two of you. A pulse intensifying between your legs.

Entering his room, he throws you on the bed, given his height it’s a considerable fall and you squeal as you bounce upon impact. Standing at the foot of the bed his gaze maps your body, considering every square inch of your skin like a meal… but also with a hint of something like appreciation. He grips at his erection over his pants readjusting it, your eyes wander to the concealed print of his length, against your own volition making drool pool behind your lips.

He chuckles, watching your needy concentration.

“Come here” he commands, you follow his order crawling tentatively to the end of the bed where he stands, sitting on your heels in front of him.

You gaze up at him with big wide eyes, anxiously awaiting your next command, already under the hypnosis of submission that he evokes in you.

“Such a good girl” he coos softly, through deep breaths. He reaches out to palm your cheek and your eyes flitter shut at the delicate contact.

“I can’t stop thinking about that mouth” he says as he rubs his thumb over your bottom lip, buzzing electricity passing between your skin.

You whine in response, not knowing what exactly your body craves, but knowing that you desperately need it from him. You squirm under his touch trying to ease the throb in your underwear, needing his physical contact, his command, his approval… needing him.

“Hmm” he says his lips part slightly as he gazes down at you.

“I think, I want to see how that pretty mouth looks around my dick.” He says his voice laced with deviancy.

Your breath hiccups in your lungs, your cheeks burn at the thought. You have never performed oral sex, but you want more than anything to make your Supreme Leader feel good, you want him to teach you how to please him exactly how he wants. Your eyes glance nervously at the erection he’s palming over his pants and then back to his gaze.

“I – I d-don’t know h-how” you admit in embarrassment, your voice barely a shaky whisper between gasps for air.

“Then you’ll learn” He replies as he takes both your hands in his and moves them to the waist band of his pants.

You know what he wants, and you comply eagerly, pulling at his waistband until his cock comes free inches from your face. It’s much bigger than you had anticipated, and you swallow hard wrapping one small hand around the base. He groans at your touch, you wet your lips, but you are frozen, you had no idea it could be so big, and you feel intimidated, gazing up at him for direction.

He looks down at you seeing the fear in your thoughts, a glint of amusement sparks in his eyes.

“Shh,” he hisses softly “Open your mouth” his voice is deeper than you’ve ever heard it. You nod in compliance, holding his eye contact, mouth agape.

He inches closer to you pressing the head of his cock onto your tongue, moving only an inch or two past your lips, he sighs in approval, his gaze enthralled by the sight of you taking him in your mouth, fire igniting in his eyes.

You let out a sigh from your chest, he’s so hard and warm, his skin is smooth on your tongue, his salty precum coating your taste buds. Eagerly you wrap your lips around him to take more of his length, wanting to make him feel good, needing to please your Supreme Leader. Enthusiastically you move your head further, trying to take as much of him as you can, but he quickly hits the back of your throat making you gag and cough. You recoil in an effort to compose yourself.

This only seems to provoke him more. He moves a hand to the back of your head, grabbing a fistful of your hair. He guides your mouth forward again to take his cock, giving you little time to recover your throat.

At first, he’s slow, guiding your head so that your lips drag back and forth over him as he uses your mouth. Though you can tell by his rigid muscles and the twitch under his eye that he’s struggling to maintain his composure, the very composure he has been inches from losing since the moment he walked through the blast doors. The smolder behind his gaze growing in intensity as he watches himself move in and out of your mouth.

“Fuck, that little virgin mouth takes me so well” he grunts, lips parting as he begins rocking his hips to pump deeper into your throat.

His words make you groan, squirming against your heels for stimulation.

“You’re going to take all of me” his voice comes as a growl, hissing through his teeth.

You gag as he hits the back of your throat again, making tears well in your eyes. You realize with a chill you are at the complete mercy of his self-control, which seems to be diminishing by the second.

“I’m going to fuck your pretty lips until they’re blue” He seethes, eyes aflame, jaw tensing in pleasure.

He tightens his fist in your hair and thrusts sharply, fucking himself deeper making you wail against his dick.

You look up at him eyes wide as you try to scoot yourself backwards on the bed to no avail. His grip on you is tight and he fucks into your throat hard with a growl.

You cough and sputter, tears now streaming down your cheeks as his pace quickens, gasping for any air you can get each time he pulls back. You look up at him pleading with your eyes, only whimpers coming as you try to speak. Your panic only pushing him further.

Still, a part of you needs this, to submit to him, a part of you will do anything to please him, you need his appraisal. You are desperate for him, his contact alone overriding every instinct in your body, replacing them with desire. All self-preservation is lost, every cell in your body screams to give yourself to him.

Surely, he can see into the depths of your mind, sensing your longing to submit.

“Mm, such a good little thing” He grunts, the ferocity and desire in his eyes lights your tear streaked face on fire.

You clench at his appraisal, every nerve in your body feels like a magnet being pulled towards his touch, your desire motivates you, and you do your best to accommodate his cock as he continues to fuck into you. You blink the tears out of your eyes and do your best to loosen the muscles in your throat letting him pass your soft pallet. Kylo moans at the feeling watching your throat swell from the intrusion with something akin to worship.

“That’s it, fuck- this mouth is mine,” he moans, lost in pleasure, “I’m going to make every fucking inch of you mine” he groans as he watches you struggle to take the demanding length of his cock.

You can tell he’s getting close to his own climax, his thrusts into you growing more and more desperate, but between his words and the lack of oxygen your brain is hazy, eyes watery, vision blurry.

You’re close to your breaking point, unsure how much longer you can withstand his intensity, jaw aching, choking each time he pushes himself deep. Just when you think you cannot take any more, you feel him on your clit, the force making patterns of delicious pressure. The sensation makes you whimper out of your nose as he simultaneously fucks your mouth and works your clit with invisible precision.

You feel the itching tension in your stomach growing fast, drool running down your chin and chest, the feeling of the force at your clit quickly hurtling you towards climaxing. Your moans are broken by his length pounding your throat and you can tell he’s getting close too.

You meet his gaze, eyes threatening to roll back into your head as you feel your orgasm approaching,

“Such a good girl taking my cock” he purrs, jaw tensing between sharp gasps, “you want me to make you cum?”

You nod as best you can, gazing up at him in reverence. You feel the force intensify at your sex, buzzing with electricity and pressure, your eyelids fluttering as you feel yourself surrender to your climax.

Your eyes shut tight with ecstasy as you cum hard, nerves snapping as pleasure courses through you in hot, rippling waves. You try to gasp, chocking on his dick, your body writhes as he holds you in place by your hair. The borderline suffocation only making your climax stronger, resonating through your oxygen deprived brain with dizzy euphoria. Behind your eyelids you can see every nerve synapse in your body firing with bliss like a sky full of lightning.

Kylo’s climax follows quickly, your own sending him over the edge. He pushes his cock deep into the back of your mouth as he cums, spilling thick streams down your throat while you still ride your orgasm. He moans and gasps as you feel his member twitch and pulse on your tongue. A string of curses and groans leave his mouth as his own indulgence consumes him. 

“Fuck,” he groans, your eyes flutter open in time to meet his gaze, his eyes half closed in pleasure as he watches you in awe. You swallow hard forcing his cum down your throat, your own climax calming as he finally releases you pulling himself out of your mouth.

Every muscle in your body feels limp and you fall straight to the bed, rolling to your back, gasping to catch your breath, your jaw aches, and your nerves sparkle with residual energy. Your limbs tremble as you try to regain your functionality.

Kylo tucks himself back into his pants before moving to your body leaning over you, supporting himself with a hand at the side of your head. He looks at you, intently, still catching his own breath. He studies your face like you’re an encrypted text, registering your tear streaked cheeks and swollen lips with concentration. You can only imagine what a mess you must look like, yet he considers you _almost_ tenderly, taking in the details of your freshly fucked face before bringing his free hand to your jaw with a slight firmness. Had you not been in a literal daze you probably would have felt intimidated, frightened even, especially considering the ferocity he had just unleashed on you. But at the moment, you can only manage to gaze back at him with exhausted shock as he curiously inspects your features.

He runs his thumb over your bottom lip, and you feel a light buzz of electricity as he does, he feels it too, it’s the same electricity you felt whenever your lips touch. He pulls his hand back with a glimpse of surprise.

“Hm,” he lets out a quick hum as his investigatory gaze falling to his finger.

You want to ask him what he’s thinking, want to understand what this is between the two of you, but the thoughts can’t seem to organize into coherence.

He gets up abruptly, leaving you feeling abandoned in the blue sea of his sheets, swollen lips still fighting to catch your breath like a fish washed ashore. You will your limbs to move, sitting up as he returns from the kitchen handing you a glass of water, the kind gesture makes your heart skip. Having shown you what its like to be the object of his savagery, you should fear him, and part of you does, but another part of you fixates on his ability to be delicate, caring even, its that very duality that makes you long for him in more ways than you can comprehend.

He turns to face the wall, his ominous demeanor returning quickly along with his composure.

“A problem with an affiliate arms dealer on Canto Bight has arisen, I’ll be going to correct the issue myself” He speaks firmly, matter of fact.

 _This must be what he’s been meeting Hux about_ , you think to yourself, and from his mood upon returning, it can’t be good. But the realization sobers you, he’s not ready to travel.

“Sir, can’t someone else go you’re still really in no conditi-”

“No, I’ll be dealing with the issue myself” he cuts you off, fists clenching at his sides.

“I-I’m sorry but your carbon reconstruction pre-treatment begins tomorrow, you’re still in need of regular medical care” You say, your professionalism overriding your thoughts.

It’s your duty to help him in his recovery process, face fucking aside, he’s still your patient, and at this point there’s no way he can forgo treatment for any period of time.

He turns to face you and you look at him pleading with him to conjure even the slightest bit of reason. His eyes rake over your body, still all but paralyzed on his bed in your underwear and something sparks in his eyes.

“Then I guess you’ll have to join me.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My dearest apologies for the delay.  
> This chapter took me in so many directions at first and your girl has been BUSY.  
> I hope you guys enjoyed this filthy content, there is so much more to cum hehe.  
> Anyways, I will do my best to be timely in posting the next chapter.  
> As always, thank you guys so much for the feedback and kudos, it means the world to me!


	11. Appropriate

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You wonder what it was like when Kylo Ren was in their presence, even among the wealthiest and most powerful in the galaxy, you had no doubt that he demanded their respect and compliance, that silence hung whenever he entered a room. You wondered what it would be like to be by his side, in a dress you could never afford, attracting the eyes of everyone in the room as the girl on the Supreme Leader’s arm.

You wake up the next morning with a soreness in your jaw, causing some mixture of shame and delight to wash over you. You still think that traveling to Canto Bight is a bad idea, but in light of recent experience, you’ve learned that obedience is a valuable virtue when it comes to the Supreme Leader. You had wanted to push him, see what happened when you tested his control, yesterday’s events were certainly enlightening.

You’re scared, of him, but even more so, you’re scared of how much you enjoyed it. You loved being at his mercy, loved being an object of his pleasure. Still, your heart wrestled, also craving his care, reveling in the moments of his fragile admiration, his gentle treatment.

You realize that Kylo Ren is certainly not beginner friendly territory, he has managed to shatter every belief you had held about what your first sexual experiences would be like. Not like you’d really had a choice. And yet, you now wanted nothing but him, deliberate or not, there was a connection between the two of you, a snap of electricity between your breath and his.

You lay on your cot and gaze out the window at the end of the room, the flurries of snow move against the backdrop of the starry expanse. The extent of the galaxy makes you feel the same way Kylo Ren does, comfortably small.

You sigh, sitting up in your cot stretching your arms over your head, Kylo hasn’t emerged from his bedroom yet and for that you’re grateful. You’re never sure what to expect from him in the wake of your sexual endeavors. You get up, and quietly put on your spare uniform (hopefully this one’s buttons will stay intact). You move to your med-kit to ready the pre-treatment for carbon reconstruction, you’re not sure when the Supreme Leader plans to leave for Canto Bight but carbon reconstructing tissue is a delicate process and you want to get as much progress as you can.

You walk to the sink to wash your hands, the water sprays loudly over the steel basin. You finish washing your hands and wiping them on your uniform skirt, turning around to find a massive figure standing at the counter of the island across from you.

You gasp, startled, hands flying to your sternum to clutch at your heart. How someone so large can move so silently you will never be able to comprehend.

Kylo stares at you, sniffing a grin.

“God’s! You startled me.” You say inhaling deeply in an effort to calm yourself.

He says nothing, just stares you up and down, considering your uniform with a flicker of the same contempt he had the day before.

“Um, your pre-treatment, for the carbon reconstruction, I’d like to start today.” You say as you move to collect your medical supplies.

You hear him sigh as he moves to the sink to get a glass of water.

Your back is turned to him when the screen of your communications tablet lights up. It’s a message from Axle, you open it in silence.

 _“Hey (Y/N), hoping Ren hasn’t killed you off yet, sure would like to take you out if you can ever escape the confines of his majesty’s quarters. – Axle_ ”

Even with everything between you and the Supreme Leader you cannot help but feel a flutter in your heart. Unlike Kylo, Axle actually _is_ what you had imagined your first love would be like, you stare at the keyboard absently, trying to comprehend what you could even reply to him.

Instantly a strong arm grips your waist followed by a sharp smack to your ass, you squeal, dropping your comm tablet. Your mind stunned by the sting on your backside, a punishment.

Flipping you around to face him Kylo Ren’s hands fly up without missing a moment, gripping either side of your face. He holds your gaze, you feel heat radiating off of him, but his stare is cold, sending a feverish shiver down your spine. You stare back at him, your body torn between the familiar plight of arousal versus fear.

“I thought I had made myself clear during your first lesson, nurse” His voice is deep, smooth, something between condemnation and mischief.

You consider him, unable to determine if your spanking was a playful warning or a serious threat, it was probably both. A devious part of you wants to push him, memories of yesterday reminding you how he responds to your provocation, how intoxicating it had been.

“He’s my Supervisor… I have to obey his orders” You say, voice sweet and small.

His eye twitches as he jerks you against his towering body torso until you’re pinned against him. A large hand smooths down the crest of your lower back before falling to your ass. He gives your flesh a hard squeeze and then releases his hand, coiling back in preparation. His other arm still coiled around your frame, holding you flush with his body.

“You obey only me” his voice vibrates through your ear making you shiver, before his large hand contacts your ass with another smack.

You whimper and then liquify against his frame, your demeanor threatening to reveal how much you love being spanked by him. He can sense your submission, his gaze softening on you, admiring your compliance, drinking in the power he knows he has over you.

“Do you understand?” his voice is softer this time, a playful whisper. A calm display of his control, denying you the satisfaction of his temper.

“Yes Sir” your reply comes instantly as you gaze up at him, convinced you would die happily right here in his arms.

“Good girl.” he gives you a little nod before releasing you and turning back to the kitchen. His ability to casually leave you simmering in arousal is a frustrating trend.

Steadying yourself you collect your supplies and turn to him, waiting for him to take a seat at the kitchen bar before moving to his side to administer his treatment. Silently he pulls off his shirt to reveal his upper body, lending you access to his bare skin, smooth and strong, interrupted by the pink gash of his wound. The sight of his skin never ceases to take your breath away, feeling like a privilege every time. To the rest of the galaxy, he is a mystery. Permanently adorned in a black cloak of concealment offering not a centimeter of visible skin that would confirm his humanity. And yet, _you_ stand in front of him, surveying his skin, feeling his body heat, examining the flesh of his open wound.

“This might sting a little” you say, quietly removing a swab from its sanitary wrap.

Carbon reconstruction requires surface level cell degradation in order to bond to the wounded muscle tissue. In terms of medical tech, its amazing, but its not a painless, process, nor is it simple. Carefully you adhere a cellular destabilization solution to the exposed tissue. Kylo seethes through his teeth.

“Sorry” you whisper, you hate causing pain, even when its necessary to treatment, but he has already regained his composure.

“When do we leave for Canto Bight” you ask, you know the pain will last a few minutes and nursing school taught you it was good bedside practice to distract painful procedures with conversation.

“Tomorrow morning” he replies through a slightly tensed jaw.

“Oh… so soon.” you replied surprise evident in your voice.

Suddenly your departure seemed real, for months you had only known the StarKiller base, and before that you had not traveled beyond your home planet. Canto Bight somehow felt like a vacation, even though you were sure you’d be confined to a hotel room the whole time.

Nevertheless, you were excited, for a change of scenery, a different view from a different window, different food… you’ve only ever heard stories of Canto Bight, a casino city where the wealthiest in the galaxy convene to engage in all sorts of lavish illegal operations.

You turned away in thought, moving to discard the waste and gather fresh bandages from your Med-Kit, hands rummaging aimlessly as you lose your mind in thought.

You wonder what it was like when Kylo Ren was in their presence, even among the wealthiest and most powerful in the galaxy, you had no doubt that he demanded their respect and compliance, that silence hung whenever he entered a room. You wondered what it would be like to be by his side, in a dress you could never afford, attracting the eyes of everyone in the room as the girl on the Supreme Leader’s arm.

“What’s it like? I’ve heard it’s beautiful.” You ask, more excitement in your voice than you had intended to reveal, you’re curious for information that will embellish your fantasies.

“Ridiculous, esurient. The city revolves around frivolous indulgences” He says, his voice is bitter.

“Oh” His words extinguishing your lavish imaginary visions, snapping you back to your position, your uniform, your cot. Accepting that this is far from a honeymoon, you’re only accompanying him because your medical services are necessary.

You decide it’s better not to entertain fantasies that had no basis in reality. Instead, you turn to move back to your patient, bandage in hand, a reminder of your place. Especially at this moment, you hope Kylo Ren is unperceptive to your thoughts.

You can feel his eyes on you, watching your excitement deflate, shrinking in disappointment. You hear him exhale softly from his nose before looking at the glass of water in front of him. You glance at him; his brows are furrowed in thought.

“I can have one of my Knights dispatched to accompany you to... to see the city, if you wish” his voice is lower, quieter, gazing down as if he’s speaking to his glass of water.

It was a gesture, an impersonal one, but kind nonetheless, he had realized how new and exciting it was for you to travel somewhere different in the galaxy. Maybe he wanted you to experience it, wanted you to enjoy yourself, you feel your heart re-inflate like a balloon.

“Oh, thank you, I would… I’d really like that” you try to hold your excitement, knowing that a show of gratitude too spirited would likely make him recoil.

He replied with the most minute of nods.

You turn your attention to the counter gathering Sani-Wraps and other waste to throw it away.

“And Nurse,” His voice freezes your body.

“Yes?” You turn to meet his eyes.

“An attendant has already packed your bags; you’ll be appointed a different uniform that doesn’t reveal your medical position. Should you be seen with me, I’d prefer that my enemies remain ignorant to my… condition”

You could tell in his eyes that by “condition” he meant his mortality. He had to maintain his omnipotent, indestructible reputation. Though part of you wondered if it was his own humanity that _he_ wished to remain ignorant to.

“I understand, um – what kind of uniform will I be wearing, exactly?” You reply.

There were very few female positions and therefor women’s uniforms on StarKiller, as evident by your sleepwear situation.

“One that I deemed appropriate” he replied, with a hint of smugness and a smirk itching to form at his lips.

Appropriate could mean anything but by the look in his eye, and your understanding of the role of women on Canto Bight, you estimate that your temporary uniform would be anything but. He always did seem to regard the modesty of your MedBay attire with contempt. You started to wonder what your undercover role would be, should anyone ask.

“Yes sir” you reply with as much obedience as your voice can manifest.

The rest of the day was spent making final preparations for your departure tomorrow, Ren organized flight information with the Command Shuttle, while you gathered enough supplies for an unknown duration. By the end of the day you were exhausted.

Lying on your cot you gazed out the window into the vast galaxy beyond, tomorrow you would be traveling through space to lands unknown, had you not been so drained, your excitement may have kept you up. Your eyes grow heavy, closing on the view of twinkling stars as you drift off to sleep.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hello again!   
> A little plot heavy but I enjoyed expanding on the reader's inner dialogue.   
> Hope ya'll are wearing masks and staying healthy!  
> See you soon on Canto Bight.


	12. A Bed Fit for Lovers

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Your relationship with Kylo Ren is intensifying and its becoming harder not to voice words that are left unsaid. Accompanying he and his Knights to Canto Bight provides a setting that stirs a romanticism that neither of you can deny. There has been sexual tension since the moment your bodies touched, but provided the luxury setting of Canto Bight, a romantic tension demands to be acknowledged.

You wake from the cold of the quarters. The temperature always feels ten degrees colder in the living space before Kylo wakes up. The blanket Kylo had given you fell off of you at some point in the night and now your body aches, stiff from the cold and the hard cot. You think of your departure to Cantonica with a flood of relief. You miss the sun you had been afforded back home and how it made your shoulders warm and your skin glow. You had never really analyzed your own beauty in a conventional way, but the sun made you feel pretty.

You swing your legs off the cot, feet contacting the cold ground. You retrieve your runaway blanket, draping it over your shoulders in an effort to warm your muscles into animation. Still groggy from sleep you jump when there is a knock on the blast doors.

Still cocooned in your blanket for warmth, and modesty, you rigidly make your way to the door. You open the door to find a First Order attendant with a cart of luggage and behind him, 6 cloaked figures wielding weapons stand in formation. You freeze, this time not from the temperature. Unsure of how to proceed your eyes scan the imposing figures of the Knights of Ren, wishing at this moment you were wearing anything besides a blanket.

You stand wide eyed for a moment too long before clearing your throat to speak.

“I’ll um – I should get the Supreme Leader” You turn around to find Kylo already dressed, cloak fanning as he advances towards you and your unexpected guests.

 _How does this man fully wake up every morning without my detection?_ You think to yourself. You move aside panicked as Kylo moves to the entrance grabbing a luggage item from the attendant. Turning to you he hands you the bag and leans forward slightly to speak quietly to you.

“Go to my quarters and get dressed. Your clothes are in the bag.” He tells you before directing his attention back to the Knights, giving them an invisible cue to file in.

You rush to Kylo’s bedroom shutting the door behind you to the sound of a stampede of heavy boots, thankful for the privacy. Through the door you hear the muffled sound of Kylo’s voice, as he addresses his Knights. You cannot make out what they’re talking about, but you assume it has something to do with their plans to exact revenge on whatever poor arms dealer decided to test the First Order’s authority.

Deciding to get dressed you remember your new _uniform_ assignment and swallow a lump in your throat. You have been more than comfortable wearing your MedBay uniform. It was dull and modest, and you had never been one to dress for attention.

Opening the bag, you start pulling out articles of clothing, all of them black. You hold up a black top, it’s made of smooth silky fabric. The neckline doesn’t plunge excessively deep, for that your thankful. But the straps are so thin you worry with any tension they’ll snap like suture thread. You rummage out a softly pleated black skirt, which is far shorter than what you would have chosen for yourself.

Dressing yourself in your new outfit you walk to Kylo’s bathroom to take a look at yourself in the full-length mirror. You give a half twirl, looking at yourself over your shoulder. The skirt isn’t much longer than your sleep tank, so you make a mental note to be careful bending over. At first you think maybe Kylo underestimated your height or got a size too small; but given how smug he had been about choosing your outfit, the skirt length seems intentional.

Aside from your personal discomfort with this new lack of modesty, you actually look really good.

You follow the line of your Achille’s tendon up the back of your calf admiring how long your legs look with so little coverage. The subtlety of your blouse’s straps makes your shoulders and chest look elegant, elongating your neck. For probably the first time ever you felt hot. Like actually hot, like someone who gave the Supreme Leader a blowjob hot. The feeling is equally terrifying and empowering.

Sifting through the bag one last time you find a black blazer with a first order insignia on the left lapel. Thankful for the ounce of professionalism it gives your new outfit, and the chill of Kylo’s quarters, you put it on.

With a deep breath you slowly open the door and walk out into the common area where Kylo stands addressing an imposing half circle of black clad warriors. Kylo turns to face you, behind him 6 masks are fixed on you as well.

Kylo looks you up and down, devouring the sight of you in your new “uniform”. You see a slight bob in his neck as he swallows, and a brief flicker of lust crosses his expression. But as quickly as it was lit, Kylo extinguishes the fire in his eyes, regaining his composure.

“(Y/N), these are my Knights. While on Canto Bight, if you require protection, I will be appointing Vicrul to you” Kylo says turning to point at a massive figure wielding an ominous looking scythe.

Vicrul widens his stance, head-cocking slightly to look you over from behind his mask.

“Nice to uh – meet you” you whisper.

In the presence of someone whom you are more afraid of than the Supreme Leader, you felt the urge to run to him for protection.

“Meet at my ship, we’ll be there shortly.” Kylo addresses his Knights, and with a wave of the hand he dismisses them.

As the last of the Knights file out the door Kylo turns to you, eyes wandering over your figure more slowly this time, as it is just the two of you. There is a hunger in his expression as his gaze travels your body. You can almost read his thoughts, running through the possibilities brought forth by such a small skirt. It gives you a sense of power that you didn’t realize you had.

Kylo swallows and turns to gather his own luggage

“Collect your things, we’re going to the loading dock”

Something has come over you and you decide to test his arousal further. You slip out of your blazer while he’s turned from you, the soft skin of your chest and shoulders now visible, the black satin of your top falling delicately over your cleavage. Gathering your bag and medical supply kit you take a step towards him as he turns around.

“Ready” you give him a smile and head to the blast doors, letting your arm brush his body as you pass.

You hear him right behind you as you as you stride ahead of him with confidence. Imagining how the sway of your skirt hem looks from his point of view. His footsteps pound the hall close behind you, the teasing chase bringing all kinds of excitement to your nervous system.

You stop when you come to the elevators, realizing you can remember if the loading bay is up or down. From the MedBay, it is up, but being shut in Kylo Ren’s quarters for so long has left you disoriented. In your moment of hesitation Kylo passes you, bypassing the call buttons altogether opening the elevator door with a wave of his hand.

You step in after him, turning so that you face away from him. There is a thick silence as you watch the elevator doors close in front of you. The sexual tension all but fogging your vision, you think to yourself _Gods, something about elevators…_

Before you can comprehend what’s happening Kylo’s hands are at your waist, spinning you to face him. He jerks you against his body and for a moment he looks down at you gaze darting between your eyes before his face dives to meet yours, kissing you hard.

Your body goes rigid for a moment at the familiar electric feeling when your lips meet his. His lips part slightly, taking your lower lip between his, working his soft mouth over yours like he needs you. Warmth pools through your whole body and your heartbeat accelerates in your chest and between your legs.

You pass a soft moan from your lips into his as his hand travels down the curve of your back. Flipping the hem of your skirt over your back his grip finds you ass with a rough squeeze making you gasp.

Your body quakes at his display of passion. Your knees wobble but his grip on you holds you steady against his frame. You can feel how hard he is against your lower stomach through the layers of clothing and a soft moan escapes your nose. You need to touch him, feel every inch of his body. As soon as you work up the courage to explore below his waistband, the elevator slows.

Kylo pulls back from you, maintaining his stoicism while you fight for oxygen. As the elevator stills, he turns your body back to face the doors, his hands stalling on your shoulders. Just before the elevator doors open, he leans forward, his wet lips grazing the back of your ear.

“I think I may have to make this your permanent uniform” His voice sends a shiver down your spine that has you squirming.

The elevator doors part to reveal the loading bay, still trying to comprehend anything besides your Supreme Leaders mouth, you take a moment to move. Kylo steps in front of you leading the way, as he does, you’re hit by the breeze of his cloak, his smell enveloping your nostrils.

You take long strides to keep up with him as you both near the command shuttle. It dawns on you, you have never been in a First Order shuttle, much less Kylo Ren’s personal ship. Your heartrate accelerates, but you’re not sure if it’s because of the shuttle.

Head spinning, you follow Kylo up the ramp, the inside of the shuttle is spacious, but certainly not spacious enough to accommodate 8 passengers. All of the Knights are already in the shuttle, strewn about comfortably, occupying the all the seats with the exception of the pilot seat, which Kylo claims upon entering.

You look around flustering for anything to hold on to, anywhere to sit, knowing that once Kylo jumps the ship through lightspeed, you’re going to hit the back panel of the ship with enough force to break a bone. As the ramp begins to close and the engines fire up you begin to panic a little, you clear your throat to speak.

“Ex-Excuse Me, Sir” you say over the purr of the engines.

Kylo turns swivels his chair, glancing at you before scanning the Knights who have conquered the ship’s real estate. His eyes fall back on you, looking you up and down before a brief smile flashes his face.

“Come” he says with a quick nod of the head.

You approach his side as he leans back into the pilot’s seat before patting his firm thigh. His intentions on maintaining the already suffocating sexual tension become clear.

“Oh I..” You begin before he cuts you off. 

“You can choose a Knight’s lap if you’d prefer” Kylo says with a smirk.

He’s right, you need to be seated for the jump. Slowly you lower yourself onto his lap, your skirt doing little to cover your bare ass which is now pressed against Kylo’s strong upper thighs. He has no trouble reaching around your body for the controls. Framed by his arms you feel safe, allowing you to gawk at the view from the pilot’s seat, or in your case, the pilot.

Kylo shifts the throttle causing the ship to hover forward. Your eyes wander to his hand dwarfing the joystick. The sight alone make you squirm on his lap, the way the tendons flex under his skin with his grip.

Kylo notices you shift on his lap as the ship clears the bay door, now submerged in the vacancy of space. On one of hands flips a switch to prime the hyperdrive, his other arm snaking around your waist tugging you flush with his chest. Holding you tightly he takes hold of the shifter, his mouth brushing your ear.

“Ready?” his lips barely graze your earlobe making you wiggle in his grip.

With the coordinates set, Kylo pushes the lever forward. The stars blur around you and the g-force melts your body with Kylo’s. You didn’t realize you were holding your breath until moments later when the ship stills. Beyond the viewing panel an entirely different star scape is revealed. With Cantonica coming into view, you cannot help your excitement, scooching forward on Kylo’s legs, gasping as your eyes adjust to take in the glowing planet.

As you enter the atmosphere of the planet the city comes into view. It’s beautiful, sparkling lights and gold structures clutter the shoreline of a beautiful ocean. With Kylo’s arm still wrapped around your waist you can feel affection burning through your body. You want to turn to kiss him like he had kissed you in the elevator. You want to tell him how excited you are just to see the city and thank him for bringing you. But your thoughts are interrupted as the ship touches down. Kylo releases your waist as the ship stills and you stand from his lap. Behind you he stands, placing his hand on the small of your back.

“Stay close to me and my Knights” He leans to whisper in your ear before putting on his helmet, locking it in place with a hiss.

As the ramp descends it takes your eyes a moment to adjust to the bright sun. Slowly, colors come into view. Golden structures scatter clifftops overlooking turquoise waves. Beyond the buildings, lush green treetops cascade to the horizon. In awe you step off the ship after Kylo, three Knights following closely behind you. It takes you a moment to realize that you are on top of a building, everywhere you look there’s beautiful scenery laid out around you. You can hardly keep your balance as you try to take it all in while maintaining Kylo’s brisk pace.

You near a structure with a large glass elevator where an attendant in a bellhop style uniform is waiting with his hands behind his back. Kylo and the Knights still in front of the man, who greets the group with a rigid bow.

“Welcome, Supreme Leader Ren, Knights…” the attendant pauses as he sees you, glancing you over quickly. You can only imagine how questionable you look; one woman among 7 imposing men, wearing a comically short skirt.

Quickly dismissing you, the attendant turns back to Kylo, “Welcome back to the Canto Casino Hotel Sir, our staff has been notified of your arrival and will be at your service should you need anything at all”

 _Sure is nice to be with the Ren party._ You think to yourself as the attendant hands out gold keys to Kylo and each of the Knights, stepping aside as the glass doors open to the oversized elevator.

Your cheeks start to burn as you’ve been unable to stop grinning since you entered Cantonica’s atmosphere. As the elevator door closes you can feel Kylo’s presence behind you, his body is so close that you can feel his body heat at your back. Your cheeks warm at the familiarity of the situation, if only you and Kylo had the elevator to yourselves you would be happy to pick up where you left off.

You feel the elevator come to a stop and you move to the side to allow Kylo out first. As the doors slide open, you’re met with a long hallway. The floors are shiny white marble with doors staggered on alternating sides. At each door there is an attendant wearing the same uniform as the man from the roof. You follow behind Kylo who stops in front of the first door on the left, he turns the key in the lock and opens the door for you, stepping to the side to allow you to enter.

“You will be staying in this room” he says as he enters the room striding inside before turning to an interior door on the wall opposite the bed.

He opens it to reveal another suite exactly like yours.

“I will be in here.” He says as he hands you the key and steps over the threshold into the other room.

“Our rooms adjoin so that you have access to me, the joining door will remain unlocked.”

Taken back by the luxury of your surroundings you’re only able to offer him a nod. Your attention immediately turns to the bed which at this point is almost foreign to you.

Your hands run over the smooth white linen duvet; the bed is massive with an almost ridiculous number of pillows. There’s a sheer white canopy draped between posts at the four corners. You fall back onto the billowy mattress, smooth, clean, white linen encases you and for a moment you think you’ve ascended into the clouds.

It’s been so long since your body has come in contact with something so deliciously soft and a long sigh escapes your lungs.

“Comfortable?” you raise your head to see Kylo is still standing at the threshold between your rooms.

He looks amused, but you can also see a reignition of the fire that has been left on simmer ever since the elevator doors opened on the StarKiller. The flames of arousal lick at you both now that the two of you are finally alone again. You watch as his eyes travel your body, slowing over your thighs which are further exposed as your skirt is fanned out over the mattress.

You wish he would come closer; two long strides and your bodies would be touching. You think about how he kissed you in the elevator, how he wrapped his arm around you seated on his lap. There had been so much affection in his touch. And now you’re sprawled out on a bed that seems most appropriate for lovers, willing to do anything to gain his affection again.

As you sit up and he shifts his weight to lean against the doorframe.

“Kylo… I’ve never seen anything like this. It’s – It’s amazing”

Until now, you could not have imagined this kind of luxury and you struggle to articulate your awe. Kylo drinks in the sight of you, seemingly content with your pleasure. Taking a step towards you he nods for you to fallow at he turns to a balcony door, which you haven’t yet noticed as you’ve been enthralled with the bed.

“Come. There’s a good view of the city” he says to you. You hop off the bed eagerly to follow him.

Kylo opens the glass, French doors and you follow him stepping out onto a stone balcony, which is shared between your two rooms. Your eyes widen, lips parting in awe as you take in the view. Golden domed rooftops line the staggered layers of the cliffside. The buildings are adorned with golden arches and beautiful details sculpted in white stone. You can smell the ocean with each gentle breeze and in the distance, you can hear the waves crashing the shore. You’ve never seen such beautiful architecture, perfectly juxtaposed with the deep blue water on the horizon.

“It’s incredible” you say quietly, unable to gather more justifying words.

You turn to Kylo to find that his eyes are intently fixed on you. You take the moment to look back at him, studying his handsome features. It’s getting later in the day and the light is golden, casting highlights over the structure of his face. He looks back at you with a reserved expression, almost like he’s holding his breath, afraid to bring life to the glint of emotion in his eyes. His eyes fall to your lips as he speaks.

“My Knights and I will be attending to business shortly. You will need to stay here” With that, he averts his gaze to the horizon before turning to the other side of the balcony, entering the set of doors leading to his quarters.

You turn into your quarters and a few minutes later Kylo stops once more at the threshold between your rooms.

“Do not leave the room. Understand?” There’s a sense of urgency in his voice.

You figure that situation with the arms dealer of interest is anything but cordial and you don’t know if you should be worried.

“Yes Sir.” You reply automatically.

With one last look at you he puts his helmet on and leaves.

In his absence you explore the rest of the suite. You open a door to reveal a massive bathroom with a bathtub that could fit any galactic species. The floor and countertops are all marble with gold fixtures.

A few hours pass during which you had dinner delivered and took the time to go through the rest of your appointed wardrobe. There were a couple of spare outfits similar to the one you’re in, but your sleepwear was the most interesting.

You hold up a silky black slip dress, though calling it a dress is a reach, with a subtle lace trim along the neckline. You’ll be surprised if it falls long enough to conceal your backside. The thought of Kylo choosing such _delicate_ sleepwear brings butterflies to your abdomen, surely, he could have chosen something more conventional. However, considering your surroundings, it seems fitting.

You figure you have time to take advantage of the amenities before Kylo gets back. Drawing a bath, you slip out of your clothes inspecting various small glass bottles of soaps and oils before haphazardly dumping a few into the water.

Easing your body into the tub you feel a smile spread across your face. You can’t remember the last time you took a bath and the warmth of the water eases your muscles. You take your time, letting your whole body submerge in the fragrant water. You stay blissfully soaking until the water begins to cool. Getting out the tub you dry yourself with soft towels, catching a glimpse of yourself in the mirror. Your face looks refreshed and glowing, your hair gently curling from the humidity in the bathroom. You have become so accustomed to the uniformly dark color scheme of the StarKiller interior, that now, seeing yourself surrounding white marble and warm light, you feel beautiful.

You slip on your nightdress, which covers just about as much of you as you thought it would. However, you cannot deny that you feel elegant, the way the silk grazes your body, the airiness of it, the sultry exposure of your skin. For now, you are living a fantasy and allowing yourself the experience.

You step out on the balcony; the warm breeze plays with the skirt of your dress. You look out over the city to find it is even more beautiful at night. Golden light from buildings and windows reflect off the surfaces of the streets and buildings. You can hear music and voices coming from the casino on the first floor of the hotel and you take your time, enthralled in all the new sensations. How different it feels to be in a setting where entertainment and pleasure is standard.

You’ve only been out on the balcony for a few minutes when you hear a door open from inside. Moments later the adjacent balcony doors open and Kylo steps out onto the balcony.

His hair is slightly messed from his helmet which he holds in his hand. Somehow in the dim light of the night he looks even bigger, his frame towers over you from a few feet away. He stills as his eyes find your body, looking you over with slow, silent hunger for a long moment. His jaw tenses as his eyes travel your exposed skin before meeting your eye contact. Behind his irises an unbridled desire burns with passion. Kylo considers his next move for a moment before tossing his helmet aside and advancing on you.

In two long strides his body is against yours. 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hi I'm back! So so so sorry It took me so long to write this chapter and I had Finals for my Summer classes.   
> I wanted to start building on the fluff of this relationship but also you already know there's about to be some filthy shit.   
> Also I just want to say that as the author, my intention is for you to be able to identify as the reader/protagonist no matter your size, race, etc. I feel like I've come across too many (Reader x _) stories that use physical descriptions of (Y/N) that are non representative or idealized.   
> Let me know if there's anything I can do to make the prose more inclusive, I want you to feel sexually desire by our Lord and Savior Kylo Ren. 
> 
> Anyways, sorry for the long ass wait, here's a long ass chapter.


	13. Make You Mine

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You want to give him everything, you want to do things with him that you don’t know how to do. Fear mingles with desire leaving you wracked with inhibition and yet, desperate for more.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> NSFW  
> Shameless Smut  
> and some fluffy hehe

Your head spins at how quickly Kylo’s body devours your own, within moments your solitude has been blissfully interrupted by the heat of his desire. All the insecurity about your revealing nightdress dissolving the moment Kylo laid eyes on you. He kisses you like he has no other option, like he needs to.

At first, he’s rigid, his kiss is hard but simple, as if he’s scared to push you too far, but his grip on your jaw indicates otherwise. His thumb is pressed under your chin, his remaining fingers struggling behind your ear to grip your hair. His other arm is wrapped around your body, constricting you against his frame, gripping your lower back.

All it takes is a soft sigh, passing from your lungs to his, inviting him into your embrace. Your lips part as he begins to work his mouth over yours, grunting deep in his chest, impatient to receive you. You move your lips instinctually, complementing his lead. It is as if your mouth was made to be on his, a familiar electricity igniting the both of you further. A soft moan escapes you as your hands slide up his strong arms, wrapping around his thick neck.

There is sweat at the nape of his neck and his shoulders crest and fall with deep breaths. Tentatively his tongue grazes the inside of your mouth, licking over your teeth. You moan to communicate your pleasure, gripping his neck and standing on your tiptoes to meet his kiss more easily. He groans into your body, vibrating through you.

Heat builds rapidly in between your legs and you can feel yourself getting wet. His hand on your back races to your ass, flipping the hem of your dress up to squeeze roughly at your flesh. Your head falls back in pleasure breaking from his kiss at the feeling of him grabbing you, his touch all over your body is almost more than you can handle. Looking back at him you find his gaze feverishly darting over your body, his breath coming harder.

Gripping the back of your thigh he picks you up, crashing his lips back to yours desperately. Your legs wrap around his waist as he sits you on the balcony ledge, holding you so tightly around your back and waist that the fear of falling off never once crosses your mind. He moves between your legs, pressing himself to your core. You feel his constrained erection graze your bare sex as his hips buck against you. A low growl comes from his throat as his hands wrap tighter around you.

The breeze picks up blowing your hair around, one thin strap slides off your shoulder revealing more of your breast. Kylo grips the back of your neck as you tilt your chin to the skin to let him bite down your neck. The arousal you’re feeling buzzes through your body in a confusing, exhilarating flame.

You’ve never felt need like this; you’ve never been so painfully aware of your emptiness. You feel yourself clench between your legs as Kylo kisses down your chest, leaving wet marks over every inch of exposed skin. You lose control of your breath as you pant harder.

Your hands run through his smooth hair; you cannot believe the things this man is making you feel. You want more, no, you need more, you want to give him everything.

“Kylo- I” you pant between moans “I, I n-need you” you breathe.

His mouth leaves your skin, hands cupping your cheeks as his eye contact darts between your eyes.

“Mmm” he growls as he stares at your face in his hands.

“You want me to make you mine?” His voice moves like honey and you shutter in his grip.

His words make you squirm, you have never wanted something more. Looking up at him with wide eyes, you are hypnotized, only managing to give him a little nod. His words, his touch, his desire for you has your body and mind absolutely wrecked. You need him.

He looks at you before bringing his lips to your neck, hard kisses and bites trailing the skin up to your ear.

“Use your words.” He breathes into your ear.

You melt, you can feel your wetness dripping onto the balcony ledge and your lips part with a whine.

“Oh- m-make me yours, Kylo.” You pant.

In one movement he throws his outer cape off with a shrug of his shoulders and before you know it, his arms wrap around you hoisting you against his body. Your legs wrap around his waist, you clutch his broad shoulders as he brings you back into his feverish kiss. His soft lips attacking yours with greed. He carries you off the balcony and into your suite, never once breaking his kiss.

He softly lays you down on the bed and you gaze at his silhouette, now framed with the flowy white canopy. He leans over the bed his hands on either side of your head to support is head, his mouth working your head against the bed. You writhe against his body letting out a soft moan.

He pushes off the bed, standing over you his eyes roaming your body as he moves his hands slowly down your sides. You watch his gaze consume you, his chest rising and falling with heavy breaths.

His eyes worship you, his massive hands gripping at the tops of your thighs, you can see the imprint of his erection through his black clothing and you feel your pelvic muscles tighten around nothing. The way he is looking at has your mind hazy with anticipation.

His hands travel up your thighs under the hem of your dress, grazing your sex ever so lightly with his fingertips, eyes on your face, testing your reaction. His mouth falls open as his hand contacts you, leaning back to your face to whisper in your ear.

“So wet for me already” he croaks against you.

You manage only another whine. Adrenaline courses through you, you want him so badly, but you’re anxious. You want him to be your first, you want to feel him inside of you, but you are also nervous, trying to adapt to unfamiliar territory.

“K-Kylo” your breath shakes, he pauses and looks at you with concern.

A moment goes by that your lost studying his features, he’s so big and powerful, your attraction to him feels almost primal. He makes you want to do things you have never thought of doing. You want to give him everything, you want to do things with him that you don’t know how to do. Fear mingles with desire leaving you wracked with inhibition and yet, desperate for more.

He looks at you with lidded eyes, reading your body and mind.

“Let me teach you (Y/N)” he says, his voice so low it vibrates through you.

His words resolve all your conflict, leaving you gasping and writhing, emboldened and sure of one thing: you need him. You start to sit up, to close the distance between the two of you. His hands grip your body, grasping at your dress, bringing it up over your hips and then over your torso. Raising your arms in compliance, he removes your dress leaving you completely naked in front of him. He takes a moment to savor your body, hands falling over your breasts and stomach, his mouth agape in something like awe at the sight of you.

Your hands shake a little as they move to the bottom of his shirt tugging it up his torso, he helps you the rest of the way, peeling his shirt off and tossing it to the side. Your hands run over the smooth skin of his chest and abdomen, cataloging the feeling of his broad chest, each scar and contour of muscle.

Wrapping his arms around you he lifts you slightly to reposition you closer to him so that your bare bodies are pressed against each other. He kisses you feverishly, gripping your jaw with his hand. His other hand falls between your legs, gripping at your thighs before moving in between them to lightly graze your pussy again. You moan into his mouth, spurred on by your arousal, he moves his finger to your entrance, slowly carefully sliding into you with no friction. You gasp and writhe in an effort to ride his finger, but he stills you, a drawn out shush communicating for you to let him set the pace.

Ever so slowly he begins to move his finger in and out of you in rhythm. You feel your body relax into the pleasure of his touch, every muscle seeming to melt. With his free hand he works at his belt, undoing his pants letting them fall to his knees. You watch his movements in anticipation, waiting for him to free his length, but he stops, clutching your hand instead and leading it to the waistband of his briefs.

You obey your unsaid instructions, pulling his erection free and into your grasp. Slowly you begin working your hand up and down the smooth skin, the two of your panting in unison. You feel yourself getting wetter as he gets impossibly harder in your hand. As he responds to your touch you find more confidence in your technique. Kylo grunts in his chest,

“You feel how hard you make me?” his voice is laced with arousal and you clench around his finger.

You mewl, tightening your grip on his dick fractionally. He shudders, you can tell it is taking everything in him to pace himself.

“You want me to make this mine?” He says as his finger plunges into you finding spots of unbearable pleasure.

“Oh- y-yes.” You moan. You’ve never wanted anything so desperately.

“Fuck you’re so tight.” He praises you as he works his finger in and out.

“Mm” you moan, as his finger leaves you. 

“I’m gonna make your pussy stretch to fit me” He pants as he takes his length in his hand, lining the head of his dick up with your entrance.

You whine as he slicks his head up and down your pussy, covering the tip of himself with your wetness.

“K-Kylo, please” you beg, unable to control your writhing body beneath him. He leans over you supporting himself with his forearm as his dick parts your entrance.

“Sshh, relax little thing” he says as he pushes himself an inch into you.

He keeps his eyes on you the whole time, studying the way your mouth falls open and your brows knit together. He watches you plead with your eyes as he gently thrusts himself all the way inside you inch by inch, taking his time. He reads your expression as he stills himself once you have taken his entire length. You watch as he bites his lip, groaning at the squeeze of your tightness.

You gasp at the sensation, pain and pleasure radiate through your body like electricity. You whine, the immediate onset of pain dissipating as you feel yourself throbbing around his base, your pussy stretching to accommodate how thick he is. You whine at the feeling, how full he makes you, exciting nerves you didn’t know existed. Kylo’s breath shudders as you pulse around him.

Slowly he pulls himself back partially, his mouth drops open as you clench around him. You let out a moan as his cock drags against your insides, you feel yourself throbbing.

“Fuck baby,” he groans, captivated by the feeling of your grip around his girth.

“You feel so fucking good” he moans as he pushes his cock back into you fully, his breath hiccupping.

It’s almost too much, his words mixed with the sensation has your whole body aching for more. His praise sparks electricity throughout your body and you clench your muscles around his cock, making him lose his breath.

You moan, eyes fluttering back into your skull as he pushes deeper into you, filling you even more, the stretch of his size has you gasping for air. He sets a steady pace, pulling out of you and then pushing his thick cock back into you at an agonizing pace. It feels warm, and wet, and so fucking good.

“K-Kylo, it feels s-so g-good” You say between gasps.

He leans close to you, bringing one hand to the side of your neck, his thumb resting in front of your ear as he holds your gaze.

“You’re doing so good,” he pants his gaze fixed on yours, “You’re so fucking tight” his lids are heavy as he picks up his pace. His words melting you into oblivion.

He pounds harder into you, his hips clashing with yours making you cry out, you feel tears form in your eyes. You’re overwhelmed by the pleasure, the pain and everything in between. You feel your cunt throb in synch with his thrusts, and something tight and needy winds up in your lower stomach.

He’s panting, sweat drips from his brow as he fucks you. You can tell it’s taking all of his self-control not to fuck you unconscious. He reads your body fluently, watching your hips shake in between thrusts, and he moves his hand between your legs, his fingertip making light circles on your clit.

You sob out in response, your body already anticipating your release, it’s all too much, and yet, you need more. Moans and whines spill from your mouth as his expert touch builds the sensation in your body.

His thrusts quicken as he rubs your clit faster. Your muscles constrict around him as your pleasure builds, bringing Kylo impossibly close to his own climax.

“Fuck, you’re m-mine” he growls, “This, -fuck - this pussy, is mine” his hips pound into you hard.

You feel yourself breaking, his cock rams at your cervix stretching you around him, you gasp for air, growing closer and closer as he fucks you past your sanity.

“You wanna cum on my cock?” he snarls, it’s taking everything in him not to spill himself deep inside of you.

“Mhmm” you manage to moan biting down on your lip. Lost in ecstasy.

“Tell me how bad you need it” he grunts stilling his fingers at the crest of your orgasm, leaving you desperate.

“I need it, s-so bad, K-Kylo p-please” You wail, the words spill from your quivering lips in agony, needing him to push you over the edge.

And that he does, his finger meets your clit again, intensity ripping from his fingertips as he fucks hard and fast into you. You feel your body go rigid for a moment as he brings you over the edge.

With a final twitch of his finger your orgasm erupts through your body like buzzing electricity. Your legs tremble, and your vision blurs. You cry out as you cum hard on his cock, a euphoric bliss enveloping you as your cunt pulses, tightening around his girth.

Kylo loses himself at the feeling, his own climax cresting in unison with yours. He thrusts himself deep spilling himself into you. A steady current of electricity ripples through your two bodies as you ride out your orgasms, a chorus of gasps and moans fills the room. Waves of pleasure rock through your bodies, slowly fading as you both descend.

Kylo collapses forward locking his arms, hands framing your head on the mattress. He leans over you trying to catch his breath. He studies you like he is seeing you for the first time. He inspects your face, your flushed cheeks, and glossy eyes. You gaze back at him with something like worship, overwhelmed with the experience he has just revealed to you. You desperately try to memorize all the feelings you’ve just learned. Kylo’s gaze mirrors your own as he stares down at you. The chemistry between the two of you floating around, remaining unsaid, yet mutually understood. You feel like your appetite has been satiated after previously going your whole life never knowing you were hungry.

“I want to do it again” you blurt out, with a little more enthusiasm than intended.

Kylo lets out a brief, but genuine laugh, one you do not think you’ve seen before. And you can’t help but smile, noticing his dimples and the gentle squint of his eyes. His head falls for a moment as his chuckles die into his chest, he takes a deep breath, his back expanding before he looks up at you, his hair sticking a little to his forehead.

“Slow down nurse” he commands with a teasing tone.

He shifts leaning back as he finally pulls himself out of you. You feel a novel emptiness that makes you pout. His gaze travels down to your sex, an expression of brief concern flitting over his face before he turns and silently walks to the bathroom in your suite. You sit up a little too quickly, head spinning as you silently protest his departure. Your eyes follow him as he enters the bathroom, turning the faucets on the tub, testing, and adjusting the water temperature. You watch him confused until your eyes fall to your lap.

Your inner thighs are painted with little smears of blood, and below you the white linen of your duvet is spotted with little crimson stains. Panicked, you jump to your feet, noticing the soreness between your legs immediately. You know from your anatomy classes that sometimes women can bleed when they have sex for the first time, but your understanding does not make it any less embarrassing.

Your face burns at the realization that Kylo saw your mess. You bite your lip in an effort to contain your mortification, but tears threaten to spill from your eyes. You hear Kylo’s footsteps as he re-enters the bedroom. You turn to face him; his shoulders are rigid and wide as he has regained his default stature, he is re-clothed from the waist down. But something changes when he sees your face. He stops as he reads your body, his eyes quickly register your concern and you see his brows knit together, his expression softens a little.

“I’m really sorry Kylo, I didn’t realize-” You start before he closes the distance between the two of you, taking you by the shoulders, you lose your words anticipating his next move.

For a moment, his jaw moves as if he’s going to say something, but he doesn’t, instead he brings you into a quick embrace. Holding you tightly against himself for a moment before, pulling away to meet your eyes again. He doesn’t need to say anything, you know him enough to understand it’s not like him to put his feelings into words. Instead he silently reassures you.

Leaning down one arm finds your back and the other bends your knees, sweeping you into his chest. Carefully he carries you to the bathroom, his face is stoic, concentrated, but you understand. He does not know how to tell you it’s ok, or that he already drew you a bath, so instead he just shows you. Nonetheless, you feel eased, you’ve learned the language of his gestures.

He carefully sets you down on the edge of the bath, you can see the conflict in his face as he checks the water temperature one more time. He wants to comfort you, but it’s not in his vocabulary, he can’t abandon his reserve. Slowly you slide into the water, the temperature is perfect, the warmth eases your muscles into relaxation. He turns to leave, but pauses, stilling for a moment before turning back.

“The maids will bring you clean bedding in the morning” his voice is quieter than usual.

“If you’d like you can sleep in my bed tonight” his eyes look to you for an answer, his lips pressed together.

You can help but smile a little, his effort towards affection brings butterflies to your stomach.

“With you?” you ask coyly.

“Yes” his voice has regained the commandeering edge that you’re used to.

After an exchange of rather businesslike nods, he turns and walks back into your suite, before turning at the joining door to enter his.

You spend a few minutes more in your second bath of the day, cleaning yourself before stepping out and drying yourself with a fresh towel. You tiptoe into your bedroom to grab your discarded nightgown, slipping back into it and combing through your damp hair with your hands.

Next to your clothing duffle, you find your Med Kit, for a moment, your heart sinks, the reality of your role casting a light of doubt on the previous affection. Pretty soon Kylo will be healed, and you’ll probably go back to the MedBay to treat storm troopers with blaster wounds. You replay the night in your head, sorting though a list of ulterior motives for Kylo’s actions. Maybe he just wanted a physical release, and you were the closest thing in a little black nightgown.

You may have analyzed things longer if you had more energy, but tonight you are painfully aware of your exhaustion. For the now, you are comfortable with living out your romantic fantasies in this luxurious hotel, sharing a bed with the man you just gave yourself to for the first time. No matter how naïve. You grab your Med Kit (as Kylo is overdue for his treatment) and with a deep breath you cross into his suite. 

Kylo is leaning against the side of the bed with a small tool fiddling with his lightsaber. He looks up as you enter, putting his saber hilt down on the nightstand. His eyes drinking in the sight of you in your nightdress just like he had when he found you on the balcony. The way he takes a sharp inhale when he sees you makes you blush.

“I need to give you your treatment” you say quietly.

He nods, sitting up straighter as you approach him. You place your Med Kit on the bed next to him, taking the Carbon Pre-Treatment out. You clean the area of his wound before you start to administer it. You are close enough that you can feel his breath on your face, and it makes your body grow warm. Somehow you still feel nervous being this close to him, touching his chest, even though less than an hour ago he was inside of you.

“Thank you, for the bath” you say quietly.

“Mhm” he hums in response. You can feel his eyes on your face as you focus on your hands working at his chest.

You finish up his treatment and put the Med Kit on the floor. He shifts back on the bed, reclining on the pillows as you cross to the other side, pulling back the covers and slipping in. Kylo lets out an exhale, and you glance at him, he’s staring at the ceiling in thought, looking at you momentarily as you get into the bed. As you pull the covers over your body you cannot contain a sigh, the silk of your nightdress and the smooth sheets caress your skin, encompassing your body.

Kylo glances at you again before leaning over to flip off the bedside light. The gentle glow of the city comes in through the glass balcony doors, casting a dim glow over the room. Even with space in between you, you can feel the warmth from Kylo’s body making your heart hum in your chest. Slowly sleep starts to consume you, it feels delicious. In the twilight of your sleep, your eyes fluttering open momentarily, half conscious, the last thing you see is Kylo turned to face you, gazing over your peaceful state, his eyes filled with a look of affection that he’d only reveal in the dark.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WOOF. Yah, I figured it was time we got down to business. I'm learning there is a delicate balance between literary competency and filthy word porn. Haha, I feel insane when I'm like skimming through this obscenity to proof read and I'm like "oh I need a semi-colon here after the word cock".   
> Anyway, I really really hope this chapter does it for ya'll and its not TOO much.   
> LMK if you think I should use this chapter as my med-school application essay ;)  
> Thank you guys for all the comments and kudos and such, it really makes my day!


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